Be a golden-haired cat
by agusna
Summary: Be a golden-haired cat, don't care about anything and be independent - those were her dreams. But of course life's a bitch and has to kick her in the ass. She is thrown in situations that she doesn't like and she shows it. With her teeth and claws.
1. Chapter 1

She was pissed. No scratch that. She was beyond pissed. She was furious. Her hands were shaking, her pace was very quick and she was growling under her breath - those were symptoms of her fury. If she was any supernatural being, she would be in flames and the air around her would be creating a whirlwind. She needed a smoke.

She bought a package of cigarettes and a lighter. Standing beside the bus stop she lit a cigarette. The pungent taste of the cigarette and burning feeling inside her lungs was what she needed. She started relaxing. She wasn't a regular smoker. Hell, she even hated other smokers. But there were moments in her life, when a cigarette was her only rescue. And this… this was one of those moments.  
The bus arrived. She looked at the number: 101. Well… it wasn't her bus, but she got inside nonetheless. She didn't want to be back home yet.

She got out. It was dark, temperature below zero and she was almost in the middle of the forest. Good, she needed to be alone and in the dark. She needed to sort things in her head and in her heart. She lit the cigarette again and started walking. Slowly, this time.  
She hasn't been here since early years of her studies… With Him… No, not now. Don't think about Him right now. You have to think about someone else… Although this 'someone else' is also not a pleasant thing/person to think about.

- This is all so fucked up… - she murmured.

Today she realized she feels two totally opposite emotions towards her longtime friend: anger and desire. She wanted to punch him in the face for what he did and didn't do to her and also at the same time she wanted to kiss him hard, pull at his hair, nip him on the neck and make him hard… Oh, how she wanted to make him hard… For her own satisfaction and to prove him he's wrong…

- My, my, what a surprise - she heard a menace voice - A little red riding hood…

Agnes looked up at the owner of that voice. Tall, brown haired woman stood on her right side. When did she get here? The woman had a dangerous smirk on her lips… Which of course hadn't stopped her from bursting out:

- I'm not little, don't have red hood and grandmother anymore. Go annoy someone else!

The woman was in front of her within seconds.

- What did you just say? - she was leaning.  
- Fuck off! But in a nicer way! - she shouted at the woman. Now she was furious again.

Brunette had her pinned to a tree by a hand at her throat. It was forceful. It hurt. She always thought that feeling pain was overwhelming her. But mix that with anger and you get something completely different: a will to fight back. So she fought back.  
Bracing her back against the tree, she kicked the woman in her stomach. The grip on her throat loosened. She swung her fist at woman's shoulder. Both cried in pain. The fuck?! Her opponent's bones were from iron? But at the same time she heard those bones cracking. She hurt her. Good. She smiled.

- Hurts, heh? Bitch! - she was eyeing the brunette.  
- I will kill you…

Well Agnes must admit, that this statement frightened her a bit. Especially when woman's eyes turned red, nails became claws and her canines visible and threatening. This creature lunged at her with a roar.

She tried to escape, but was showed on the ground and punched hard. Not once. She felt her skin being ripped by those claws. She roared her discomfort. She never heard herself making noise like that, but she knew it was her. Her anger rose. She grabbed one of hands that beat her and squeezed. She saw blood drew by her own claws. The fuck?! She had long nails not claws! She punched the woman in the face with her other hand.

- Time to use my legs…

She kicked distracted woman in the head with her foot and scrambled to her feet. Her whole body ached and it pissed her off. She felt something weird inside her body, but she didn't know what it was. The woman looked at her.

- What are you? - there was disbelieve in her voice.  
- What the fuck are you talking about? - she heard herself growl.  
- Interesting… but still. I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You.

She lunged at her again. With her canines. This time her attack was precise. She aimed for her throat. Like animal, she really want to kill me - Agnes thought. She did what brunette wasn't expecting her to do. She also lunged, with canines, at the throat. They clashed, snarling, biting and ripping at each other.

She felt the attacks were less and less powerful. The woman was weakening. It boosted her. She somehow found strength inside her, to move her muscles the way she wanted. And how she knew how to fight? How to punch to inflict damage? She didn't know, but she liked that she was able to do it.

She haven't paid attention to the surroundings. She haven't heard, smelled or just felt another person near them, opposite to her enemy. The moment the woman had fled she noticed a man standing nearby. He was breathing heavy, his chest rising and falling. His fists clenching and unclenching. His face angered. Lips thin line. His eyes… Oh my God! She was mesmerized by his eyes.

He started approaching her while watching closely. Her eyes also never leaving his. She felt the adrenaline dropping and tiredness and pain appearing in her. But despite that she was going to fight him if he attacks her. He must have felt it somehow, because he said quietly:

- I'm not going to hurt you - he was still looking her directly in the eye.

She knew he wasn't lying. She didn't know how she knew that, but she believed him.  
Tiredness overpowered her. Last thing she saw was him getting closer to her. Last thing she smelled was mixture of forest and a man. Last thing she felt was strong hands picking her up.

She was in pain. She wondered why? Then realization came to her: the forest, brown haired woman, red eyes, claws, pain, green eyed man. She wanted to open her eyes, but decided to focus on her surroundings first. She smelled burned wood and something else… something very unpleasant. She felt plush under her fingers. A couch, she assumed. Then she started listening…

- What do you mean she's not human?! - a frightened, boyish voice loudly asked.  
- Shhh, Scott. You'll wake her up - second voice said, also boyish.  
- I mean what it means. She is not human - an irritated, low voice answered. It was that man's voice… - I saw her fought an alpha. And she's still alive - he said that like it means something.  
- How do you know she's still alive? She was covered in blood. Man, when I saw her I thought I puke…  
- Shut up Stiles - the other boy interrupted - She's alive…

She couldn't hear any words then, because the conversation died. Instead she heard footsteps.

- Don't pretend you're sleeping - the man said. She smirked and opened her eyes.

He was standing at the end of the couch, near her feet. Watching. He wasn't so angered, like last time. On her left she noticed panicked brown hair- and eyed boy. He looked like a disoriented puppy. She felt commotion behind her on her right. She turned her head to see another boy. He was rummaging through her bag. She didn't like that.

- Hey! Stop that! Find your own bag and ransack it! - the boy immediately looked at her, his cheeks flushed. She raised her eyebrow at him.  
- Sorry… - he got up and handed something to the green eyed man.  
- Agnes… - the man read - You're not from here… What were you doing in those woods? - little fucker that kid! He gave him my ID.  
- I may be not from here, but I work here and live here. And what I was doing in those woods is not your concern - I answered roughly.  
- You're wrong. It is my concern - he was getting angry and I thought I saw red flashing his eyes. So what? I was getting angry too.  
- Derek! - the boy on my left spoke.  
- O, right. So since you already know who I am, maybe you would deign to introduce yourselves? Because you know, I'm all hurt and can't get to your pockets to read your ID's myself - I was mean, very mean.  
- She's quite like you Stiles - said the boy on my left, with a goofy smile. The man in front of me huffed.  
- Derek - he pointed at himself, then at the boy on my left - Scott…  
- And Stiles - interjected the third and almost waved his hand at me. I rolled my eyes.  
- I'll ask you again and it's the last time I ask politely - he threatened - What were you doing in those woods? - this time I huffed.  
- Just walking, why is it so important?  
- You were trespassing my property.  
- No! No one has been living here for years! That burned house stood here abandoned all along… - again! Those red eyes flashed before me.  
- This abandoned, burned house is my property! - he shouted in my face. I was dumbfounded.  
- Derek! Stop! Come on… - Scott was beside him. I gritted my teeth.  
- Sorry - I said quite loud. He looked at me. His eyes green again - Look, I would gladly leave your property, but I hurt like a bitch and I appreciate if I could get some Ibuprom and lay here for a while…  
- This… You won't heal - he stated - Scott, Stiles go home - he ordered them.  
- You sure? 'Cos minutes ago you looked like you wanted to rip her throat out… - this Stiles has weird sense of humor… Derek growled.  
- C'mon Stiles, let's go - Scott pulled at his sleeve - Bye Agnes - they both said and were gone.

I looked at him again. He was calmer. Except for that and that I found him handsome I couldn't see more. It was night outside and the only light available was from a camping lamp set on the floor. There was silence between us. I don't like silence. I wanted to ask him a lot of things, but couldn't decided what to ask first, so I stayed quiet. I don't like to babble like most girls. I closed my eyes. I started listening. I always had good hearing, but now it was different somehow… I think I also smell things more precisely… It was weird. Very weird. But what struck me the most was that I could feel emotions… Emotions?! Me?! For everyone I was quite emotionless so now feeling empathy was completely insane! But I felt that hurt, anger and disorientation coming from him. Coming from Derek.

- Derek? - I started hesitantly.  
- I'm going to heal you, not hurt you - he stated as he moved closer to me.  
- How? - he was beside me.  
- By taking your pain - he parted my coat and put his warm hand on my stomach. I froze.  
- You're not human - I said his words at him.  
- Neither are you - he whispered to my ear and I felt overwhelming pain. I screamed.

Derek put his left hand on my mouth, right still on my stomach. Instinctively I put my right hand on his left and my left on that hand on my belly. I clenched my fingers and drew blood. Derek hissed, but didn't stop. I knew he meant good, but fuck! It hurt! After some time it ended. He stopped touching me and got up.

- Come, I'll drive you home - he helped me to my feet and led to his car.

I almost squealed when I saw his car! It was black Chevrolet Camaro. That bastard… I envied him so much for a moment.


	2. Chapter 2

I was tired and confused. I sat by the free desk, while my students were solving tasks I gave them. My mind was once again back in Derek's car, near my apartment:

- You haven't told me - I smirked and looked at him.  
- What? - he frowned.  
- What am I according to you - I could feel his distress.  
Silence. He was looking directly in front of him. He wasn't going to tell me. I had to make him tell me.  
- Derek… - I growled, demanding an answer. He looked at me immediately. He huffed.  
- That woman in the woods… Do you know what she was?  
- I have my guess… - I don't know why, but I was quite calm about all of this. That woman was not my object of interest. Me, myself was a different story though…  
- She was a… shapeshifter - there was a pause - And I think you are one too - I watched him intently.  
- But not like her? - I asked warily.  
- No. You smell different - he hasn't finished his sentence yet and I already felt he wanted to punch himself in the face for saying it. I smirked.  
- So I smell like what? - he looked at me in disbelief - Oh! Come on! Don't be an ass and tell me!  
- You really don't know?  
- If I knew, I wouldn't be asking you - he huffed again. And I smirked again. He was acting childish.  
- You smelled like cat - I turned my head and watched him intently. There was something in his voice I couldn't fathom…  
- And she smelled like…? - instead of hearing him answer, I saw his hand near my belly and caught it midair.  
- What are you doing? - I was starting to feel agitated.  
- Heal - was his only answer.

Being able to talk freely and openly with my friends, was one of the best things I learned over my years in this city. There were no taboos between me and them, we talked and discussed about everything. I learned a lot through just talking. That is why now, having this extremely difficult, uncommunicative, stone faced man beside me, I was annoyed to the limits.

I felt that arm I as holding, moved in attempt to reach its destination.

- No. You are going to tell me who that woman was and who am I - my voice was strong and steady. I also felt something inside me. Something trying to emerge to the surface, but staying just beneath my skin.

I squeezed his arm to emphasize my words. I haven't noticed my claws, until I smelled blood.

- If you want to live, you have to stop doing that… - his voice was low, eyes flashing red - She was a werewolf alpha female and you are a werecat, a very stubborn one - his eyes normal now, watching me.

I pulled my sweater up and put his palm on my stomach. Took a deep inhale, exhaled and nodded my head, as to saying: do it. Then I felt sharp pain, but kept my mouth shut. Gritting my teeth, I whimpered, waiting him to finish.

- I'm Taurus. I was born stubborn - I smiled at him, when the pain finally subsided. He rolled his eyes - So you are werewolf alpha male and…  
- What?! - he interrupted me.  
- Oh, come on. You smell the same as that woman, except you're male - I could feel by my newly discovered senses that he disliked it all what I was saying.

He was silent, but I knew he was angry (seriously, when wasn't he angry?), irritated, tired and behind all of that aroused. I could understand the first three feelings, but aroused?! I had to get out of his car rather fast. But I also had to ask him one last question:

- If I want to live, I have to stop what?  
- Stop losing control over your cat - he wasn't looking at me.  
- You are talking about my claws then? Sorry about that… - yeah, that was instinct.  
- And eyes.  
- What eyes? - I was dumbfounded.  
- Your eyes - he rolled his eyes and looked at me - You flash your eyes the same I flash mine.  
- What color? - I didn't know why, but it was important to me to know the color.  
- What does…  
- Just tell me.  
- Turquoise - it caught my breath and he noticed that - Does it mean something?  
- People choose this color describing me. By the way, how do you know that there is color like that? Most men wouldn't know that.  
- Not important. What is important, is that you have to control your cat - he said with a force - And if you don't know how to do it, I… I can teach you - there was something sentimental in his voice and it caught me off guard.  
- How?  
- Not going to explain. If you want, come to my house tomorrow. You know the way - and with that he was silent again.

I inhaled deeply. Maybe that wasn't a bad idea. I could get more information from him tomorrow. Or I could get my ass kicked again. But then he would heal me. Again. If he wanted to hurt me, he had plenty occasions, but he didn't take them.

- Ok, I'll come - I started getting out of his gorgeous car - Thanks - I smiled at him and shut the passenger door, noticing he had surprised look on his face.

Yesterday I felt ok with werewolves and werecats. But today - no. During the night it all sank in and I was definitely not ok with it. I felt exactly like characters from all those fantasy books I love to read. There is often a woman. Unaware of the supernatural world until this supernatural world shoves its fucking boots into her life. And there is also of course a man. Mysterious, very handsome man with a haunting past. They defeat monsters, prevent end of the world, fall in love and mostly live happily ever after. Bullshit! This is my life we're talking about. I don't have motivation to get up in the mornings and go to my so called work. I hate students and almost every other people. And I'm done with men.  
I was rethinking Derek's proposition.

* * *

Rethinking my ass. Well I tried to argue with myself, but there was no time. I was occupied at work and after. So I ended up in the woods again. I was approaching the house I always thought was abandoned. My friend told me about the fire that killed a family there. It was horrible listening to this story. Even I felt compassion. And now, that I knew a member of that family… It was quite overwhelming… I couldn't imagine losing all my family in one moment. My thinking was interrupted by a voice. It was Scott. I could hear him arguing with Derek, but I wasn't able to see them yet.

- You did what?! Dude, we have to find Erica and Boyd! We have alpha pack to deal! And you… You…  
- What Scott?! She is in the same spot you were when I meet you! You know, how important it is to learn control!  
- I know! But…  
- Enough.

Wow. I wasn't expecting them to fight like that. I could feel their anger and irritation, but not dislike. I also felt curiosity and anticipation. It was something new. Those feelings belonged to someone new to me, someone I haven't meet yet.

I walked directly at them. Derek was standing on the porch and despite it was at least -10 below, he was without a jacket. He was looking at Scott, who was at the bottom of the stairs. Fuming. The third person was a tall, skinny boy, with curly, light hair. He was also on the porch. And he was staring at me like I was the first woman he ever saw.

Well… I know I look more like a girl than a woman. I'm not tall or skinny. I don't do make up. And I keep my long hair loose.

- If you don't have time, you shouldn't ask me to come - I stated to let them know I heard their argument.

Derek was silent. Great! By this, I knew he wasn't going to tell me to much today. Scott was blushing. I completely didn't understand why. And this boy was still staring and I could feel him getting aroused.

- Oh, for fucking sake! - I shouted - You! - I pointed at Scott - Stop blushing! And you! - I pointed at the boy - What's your name? - I lifted my eyebrow, waiting for his answer.  
- I… My… - the boy was perplexed. Derek rolled his eyes and decided to join this weird conversation.  
- It's Isaac. He's my beta, like Scott - Scott grimaced and Derek growled at him quietly - And I have time - he finally looked at me. I honestly must say, I liked his eyes very much.  
- And like Scott he is a teenage boy with a hormone overdose in his body - they both looked at me - Yes, I can feel that. And smell that. Go home and do something with yourselves. Under the shower or with a girlfriend - I smirked - Or a boyfriend - I saw Derek smirk also.  
- Listen to her. Go home for now - he ordered. I watched them leave.

- Does your pack consists only of teenage boys? - my smirk faded when I felt his pain and of course anger. Within seconds I was angry at myself for this pain I caused him. He must felt that, because he lifted his hand, as if stopping me.  
- There is one girl, Erica…  
- The one you have to find? - he looked at me wide-eyed and then realization came to him.  
- You heard us…  
- Yeah. Can I help you somehow? - the look he gave me was piercing me through, like he was evaluating me. I didn't like that. I growled. I felt him hesitate.  
- You have to learn control - I saw his back, when he entered his burned house. I followed him, although I didn't know if I should - You do it through anger, pain or love. Which one you choose?  
- I think you already know that - I said flatly. At this moment I despised love.  
- Anger and pain - one minute he was saying that to me and second he was wolfed and charging at me.

I screamed. He was pinning me to the floor. Growling at me. I could perfectly see his changed face. I was scared, because he surprised me. But I wasn't angry or in pain. He noticed that and grabbed me by my hair, lifting me up. I screamed again. This time in pain. Then he threw me across the room.

- Fuck! I'm still hurt after yesterday you moron! - I shouted, feeling tears in my eyes.  
- Yesterday you fought an alpha! And today you can't even shift!

He hit me couple of times more. I was on the floor again. He grabbed my throat and lifted me so I was leveled with his face. My legs hanging loose.

- Shift - he growled and pressed himself against my body. I froze. He noticed that I didn't like it. He started to rub against me. I couldn't stand it anymore.  
- Stop it!  
- No - he touched my crotch and squeezed me there.  
- Fuck you! - I roared and kicked him in his crotch. His hands left my body in an instant.

I was charging at him without mercy. I was fast. Very fast. He wasn't able to dodge my punches. I started kicking him furiously. When I noticed I had claws, I used them. His clothes were in shatters. Blood oozing from deep cuts I left on his body. He was laying on the floor, were I have thrown him. I was approaching him. Passing a window with glass, I saw my own reflection. I stopped.

I wasn't human. I was a creature. I was taller than normally, because my human legs were now hind legs of a feline. I was covered in dark blue fur with golden stripes like a tiger. I had a slim, but fluffy tail. My hands were more human, except for the fur and claws. My head and face although were feline. The shape of my head was slim like jaguar, but I had stripes on my face like a tiger and big mane like a lion. Fur on my face was golden (like mane) with blue stripes. My nose was wide, eyes turquoise, fangs big and sharp.

I couldn't believe that. I was a werecat. A mix of jaguar, tiger and lion, but I felt there are others species inside me. How? How have I become something like that?

- Agnes… - I heard a voice. Wait. I know this voice. I like it.

I started paying attention to my surroundings. All of my senses focused on a body lying on the floor. The stinking smell of blood was covering his natural smell. I wanted to lick him clean, to be able to breathe his scent again. I moved closer to him, murmuring. He wasn't moving, but I knew he was alive. I turned his head so he was facing me. He was human again. His wolf disappeared inside him.

I started licking his face, to get rid of the blood. I noticed his wounds started healing already. He opened his eyes and looked at me. I could see myself in them. I don't know how long we were like this, just looking in our eyes. It stopped when he said:

- Shift back - it was a whisper, but I heard it clearly.

We were sitting in Derek's Camaro, heating switched on. I was wrapped in a blanket. Derek sitting beside me, in the drivers seat. He changed clothes and managed to clean himself a little.

I don't remember how I shifted back. I remember he told me to do it and then him saying to put his T-shirt on. I didn't understand, why I have to wear it, until I noticed I was almost naked. He said it is normal to lost memory and clothes during first shift. He was joking. Derek Hale made a fucking joke. And it was partially about me being naked! But then he tamed me, helping me put my coat on and wrapping me in a blanket.

- Are you ok? - I asked. I felt bad, I had hurt him so much.  
- Yeah… - was his only response. I probed him through my senses. He wasn't angry or in pain. Furthermore, I could feel that he was calm. But beneath, I knew something was bugging him…  
- Tell me - I demanded.  
- What?  
- What is bugging you. And don't even try to deny it. I know there's something up. I can feel it - he looked at me.  
- This feeling thing… Does it come with your werecat senses?  
- If I answer your question, will you answer mine? - he gave me a nod - Yes, it comes whit it. Now your turn.  
- Could you be able to track that alpha woman?  
- Is this you throwing questions at me instead of answers, or is it this thing that is bugging you? - for gods' sake! Keeping a conversation with him was like walking through hell.  
- The latter - ok, something concrete, I liked that.  
- I don't know, if I can track her… Maybe… But I can try, if this will be any help - I tried to smile.  
- Give me your phone - I passed him my phone - If something happens, call me - he looked at me - You understand - I rolled my eyes.  
- Derek, I'm not a child - he smirked.  
- But you're as stubborn - I showed him a big smile, and this time he rolled his eyes - Heal.

Ugh. This part I hated the most. After he healed me, he drove me home. Also he announced, that he'll come in the morning to heal me before I go to work. I warned him not to come before 10 am.


	3. Chapter 3

Derek really came the next morning. He called after 10 am, to let him in. I was shivering in my pajamas when I opened the door. I had morning hair, red face, small eyes and sleep all over myself. Mornings weren't my favorite part of the day. He made a face, looking at me.

- Hello Kitty? Really?  
- Oh, shut up and get in. It's cold - it was too early for some smart riposte.

He stayed in his jacket, but took off his shoes. Wow, that surprised me. We went to my room, which was two steps to the right.  
I live in a rent three-room apartment. I have three roommates - a couple and their dog. I have my room, they have two, because they work at home. My room is the smallest, but I manage. I have large bed and that's what counts the most.

Derek was standing in the doorway, looking perplexed. I sat on my bed, moving comforter to the side to make room for him.  
- Yeah, that's how I live. Now, close the door and sit - he surprised me again, by doing so without objection. We sat like that, in silence for a while. It wasn't uncomfortable. It was nice, I must say. I didn't care how I smelled, but he smelled so fresh and inhaling his scent was waking me up - Ok, let's get to the business - I laid down on my bed and pulled my T-shirt up. Took couple of breaths an looked at him. He was staring at me - Derek… I'm waiting. And I believe, you have seen woman's belly not once - I smirked.

He flashed his eyes red and before I jerked in pain, I felt his anger, hurt and betrayal. What have I said to make him like that? When he finished healing me, he moved away from me. I didn't care at that moment. I was trying to breathe again. After a while I was rather ok and found my voice to ask:  
- What was that? Those feelings? This hurt, betrayal?  
- It's none of your business - he growled at me, but in a whisper.  
- Well, since this made you so angry and you directed that anger at me, I believe it is my business - he looked at me in disbelieve - Yeah, I felt that while you were healing me…

Suddenly, he was extremely interested in my floor and his feet. I felt his shame, his anger directed at himself this time. I took it as a silent apology. I huffed. He was very, very difficult to handle. My hand itched to touch him, but I knew it was a bad idea. I just moved closer to him, in a silent consolation. No, it wasn't that. He didn't need consolation. He would despise that. Understanding was a better feeling. I tried to emit this feeling from me, so he would calm down. I felt him shift a little, a sign he felt my emotion.

- Derek… It's ok now… We're good - I assured him - I have to go to work, but before that I have to tell you something - I felt a peak of interest within him - I'm going home for the weekend…  
- Not safe - he finally spoke.  
- Chill. It's safe. I'm calm, when I'm at home with my parents - I bit my tongue too late, because I had felt his anger - Shit. Sorry Derek - I growled at myself in annoyance. His look leaned at me. It was intense. I felt a longing inside him. Not for a woman, but for someone who he could trust, someone like family. I understood that. I smiled a little at him - Do I remind you of someone - I whispered warily. There was silence and I started to feel agitated. He was staring at the floor again.  
- My sister - he finally said under his breath.  
- I honestly don't know if it's good or bad… - he shot his head up - Fuck! I said that aloud?! - he was staring at me and it was enough for an answer - Well, I'm a honest person to the bone. You would have noticed that sooner or later anyway. I got up and motioned him to do the same. He was staring intently at me. I huffed - I'm officially chasing you away. I have to go to work.

His shoes were on and he was ready to leave. I tugged at the sleeve of his jacket.  
- Wait - I whispered. He turned his head, so I was looking at his profile. I moved a little and stood on my tiptoe. My fingers ghosting his stubbled jaw while I pressed a light kiss on his cheek. I didn't want to know his reaction, so I immediately opened the front door and shoved him out. I just said:  
- Take care.

* * *

Wow. The winter attacked again. Frost was big, roads were slippery and it took me a lot of time to get to the city, even at night. I like to put a heavy foot on gas pedal and bring my baby to 100 km/h. But I wasn't crazy. During a weather like this, it would be a suicide.

I was trying my best not to fall and carry my bags stuffed with homemade food. I went home after all. And that meant, my parents gave me a lot of food, because they knew how I was eating. Or not eating. Or not doing grocery or cooking.

Some guy moved from the shadow. When I looked at him more closely, I noticed it was Derek.  
- Fuck, you scared me - that was all me, zero subtleness, one hundred percent honesty. But he didn't seem to care.  
- You know better how to use your senses - he was approaching me.  
- Derek, now all of my senses are directed to one thing: not to fall on this ice - he was taking my bags from me. I lifted my eyebrow at him - You want something?  
- Let's talk inside.

We got to my apartment. This time Derek took off his shoes and his jacket. He smelled like forest. But it wasn't like his normal scent. It was like the wood, leaves, mud, snow, everything was overdosed. Has he spent entire weekend in the woods? I motioned him to sit on my bed. I picked my bags and heading to the kitchen I asked:  
- Want something to drink? Tea, coffee, water? - I was trying to be nice. It happened sometimes.  
- Water.  
- Water? Really? - and I thought I was a minimalist.  
- Really.  
- Ok. Be in a minute.

I put all the food in the fridge and cabinets. Took some yoghurt and muesli for me and poured a glass of water for Derek.  
- Here - I handed him the glass and he put it on top near my bed.  
I was unpacking my stuff for a while and then finally sat next to him with my yoghurt with muesli. He was silent and watching me.  
- You eat that? - there was like disgust in his voice.  
- Ooo, so he speaks! - I had to make that comment. I was grinning. I felt his irritation and frustration - Sorry, I am a mean person, guilty - I smiled and he eased a little - And I'm a cat and cats like milk products like yoghurt. And it's late and I try not to eat too much…  
- If you're concerned about your figure, you shouldn't be… - he wasn't looking at me, his heart beating steady.  
- And why is that? - I asked playfully.

As I said earlier, every time I visited my parents it put me in a good mood. Which of course usually puffed away next day at work. But I wasn't at work right now. And I was still in a good mood, which meant I would tease people without a reason. Just like that, for pure pleasure. Yes. I. Am. Very. Very. Mean.  
- You're a werecat - and that's it. No more explanation. I moved closer to him.  
- Derek, that gives me… - I whispered in his ear - totally shit - I was grinning again, but when I saw his dumbfounded face, I bursted out laughing.  
He stood up, ready to leave. Anger rolling off of him in waves.  
- Wha… - I haven't finished yet and he had already pinned me to the door. His eyes red, claws drew and breathing heavy.  
- Stop that - I hissed. He was doing it again. Pressing his hard body against mine.  
- Only if you stop too - his face was so close. Our noses were almost touching and I could easily kiss him, but at that moment, the only thing I wanted to do with his mouth was to bite hard on them. To draw blood and to feel his pain.

If we were anyplace else, I would shift and kick his ass. But it was my apartment and my roommates were there, so I couldn't do that. However there was something I could do… My eyes turned turquoise, my claws and canines grew long and I tensed my muscles. It looked like I was going to charge at him, but I was in total control. It was just a show off. I smiled at him like a cat who just drank all the milk.

- You learned control… - he was whispering, but he was still on high alert.  
- Yes, now let go of me - my voice was very low and steady - This is my den - I pointed.

My last words made him release me, his eyes and appearance back to normal. I knew this comment about my den would work. We, animals are very territorial and unless we don't want to expand our territory, we don't trespass.  
I was back to normal too. We were just standing, calming down. Derek was still in front of me, but not touching me anymore and the distance was ok for me.

- I believe you said you wanted to talk - I started quietly and he nodded - So let's talk - I made a move forward and he moved aside. We sat on our spots from earlier. I was back to my yoghurt (it was a big one) and he took a sip of water. There was silence between us, but I let it be. I could feel a lot of emotions bubbling inside him.  
- You already know two of my betas are missing - he started finally and I felt his pain at that loss - We have searched the woods unsuccessfully… - aha, I was right. He really and literally spend the weekend in the woods.  
- We?  
- Me and my pack - I hummed in understanding.  
- Ok, but what does it have to do with me?  
- You said you wanted to help - I rolled my eyes. Asking for help obviously wasn't his strong point.  
- Derek, ask me directly what do you want from me - I needed to know exactly where I stand.  
- I want you to help me find them - he said it like it was poisonous. Yeah, he wasn't used to ask for help. I wanted to know what his plan was.  
- How? - he rolled his eyes - Derek… - I growled a little - I have to know.  
- By tracking them down by their scent.  
- As far as I know, dogs have better smell than cats, so why do you think I would be able to track them, when you have already tried?  
- Because we don't know the scent of that alpha female - I shook my head.  
- What the fuck does she has to do with it!? - sorry, I wasn't following his logic…. or maybe I was - You think she kidnapped them? - he nodded.  
- She's part of the alpha pack that is in town.  
- An alpha pack? Of werewolves? You are fucking kidding me?! - I lost my temper. This was too much.  
- Not laughing. Calm down - he wanted to put his hand on my knee, but hesitated.  
- You can do it. I won't bite it off - I was pissed, yeah, but not at him and at that moment his touch was soothing.

I leaned at the back of my sofa (my bed at the same) and closed my eyes. This was crazy. Suddenly, my rather boring and normal live became… Became what? Surreal at one point and more pissing and dangerous at the other. My mind was racing, I was thinking about a lot of things and a lot of feelings was running through me. This needed to be sorted out.

- How many are them? Where are they? What do they want? How dangerous are they? And why would they kidnap your betas? - I was throwing all those questions at him, one by one - And yes, you have to answer them all. Now - I added, as I saw his face.  
- I don't know how many… Three or four… But it can be also ten of them - I yelped - I don't know where they are, but I assume it must be somewhere in the woods. I don't know exactly what they want. My parents told me only that the alpha pack migrates through the country and emerge when there's something happening or to deal with another pack…  
- What do you mean: when there's something happening or to deal with another pack?  
- I don't know exactly - he was starting to get frustrated - They haven't been in this regions for years. Even my parents didn't remember when was the last time they were here.  
- And by dealing with a pack you mean to kill that pack? - I didn't like that question, but had to ask.  
- Yes - I yelped again - But that's something every other pack could try.  
- And about your betas…?  
- I think it's to lure us out or scare us… - we fell silent for some time.  
- If I help you, I might die… - shit, I didn't like that I sounded so lame…  
- I won't let that happen - I smiled bitterly.  
- It's nice that someone beside my parents care about me… But you can't control everything Derek. Someone might die… - I put my hand over his on my knee (yes, his hand was there all the time).  
- I will do everything in my power to protect you and my pack - his eyes were piercing me. They were filed with emotions, tons of emotions. And I was mesmerized by them, like the first time I saw him.  
- I want you to meet them.  
- Who?  
- My pack.  
- Oh… Ok. But not tonight. This all - I made a circle in the air with my hand - is enough for me for today.  
- Tomorrow? - I had to think for a minute.  
- Yeah, tomorrow is ok.  
- And after, we'll track Erica and Boyd - that wasn't a question, it was a statement. I quirked my eyebrow - What? I cannot let those alphas have them any longer - I huffed.  
- I can understand that, but… But it doesn't change the fact that this is going little too fast for my liking… - I bit my lower lip.  
- It is going too fast for last couple of months… - now I quirked both my eyebrows - Ask Scott or Stiles if you want.  
- I believe you - I started to smile, but had to yawn. I was getting tired. Derek seemed to notice that.  
- I should go… - he got up, turned and was looking at me hesitantly. I looked at him like "WTF man", but then it clicked. I smiled.  
- Goodnight to you too Derek - I was trying to pass him some positive energy, because seriously I thought I was scowling, but he was like the master of scowling - Like before, I'm chasing you away - I smiled, as I opened the door.  
- Don't you need me to heal you? - he whispered to my ear, as we were still in my room.  
- No, I healed while I was home - he just nodded - I'll come tomorrow around eight, ok? - I haven't noticed my roommate in the hall…  
- Yeah…  
- Oh, hi - Monica was already extending her hand - I'm Monica.  
- Derek - they shook hands.  
- My roommate - I pointed at her - and my friend - I pointed at Derek, smiling a little all the time.

We both stood there, watching Derek leave.  
- He's hot - she said grinning. Oh, now she looked like she had drank all the milk.  
- Heh, I know… but as I have told you before, I'm past men - I gave her a sad smile and went to my room.

Later, I lay in my bed, thinking. Of course Derek was hot. I knew that, the minute I put my eyes on him. Tall, well build with broad shoulders, nice ass, very handsome face. Strong jaw, dark, thick hair, expressive eyebrows, straight nose, nice lips. But his eyes… his green eyes were gorgeous. And that stubble of his. I was wondering how old he is. He looked like a grown man, but I had the impression, he wasn't older than me. He was a "bad boy" every woman dreamed of. But not every woman was able to handle that kind of man…

At this moment, I wasn't sure if I can handle any kind of man. They irritated me and I was securing myself from them. Again… What was weird, I tolerated Derek. Apart from his anger outbursts, I didn't mind him being near me. Well, at least when I controlled this "him being near me", like for example me kissing him, not the other way. But I definitely mind this situation back then in his house, when he pinned me, rubbed against me and then squeezed me. I know now it was to trigger my shift, but still… I hated it. And it is probably because I wasn't the dominant there…


	4. Chapter 4

I was a little late, but I wouldn't be myself, if I wasn't late. When I get to Derek's house, there were already four cars parked: black Camaro, blue Jeep, silver Porsche and black Toyota. Well, I must say that my 18-years old car was to place somewhere near that Jeep. But it didn't matter. What matters is that I could ride my baby.

I got out of my car and headed to the front door. I sensed eight people there. Well people in general. Werewolves counted as people to me too. Of course they knew I was there, so they stopped their conversations and waited for me to came in. I wasn't focusing on their emotions, because there were too much of them.

Before I could knock on the door, Derek opened them. He was tense, so I smiled a little at him and greeted:  
- Hi.  
- Hello - he steadied his voice along with his heartbeat - Come in.

I was one step behind him. His big body covering mine, so I believe I haven't been seen till he stepped to the side, when we were in (what I believe was) the living room. Everyone looked at me and I looked at them.

They were kids! They were all kids except one man, who stood in the corner of the room to my right and Derek, who was still near my right hand. I immediately knew this man is the oldest here and a werewolf. He was in a black shirt tucked in his dark blue jeans. His dark hair was gelled and slicked back. He had a moustache and a goatee. Blue eyes, which smiled along with his mouth, but I knew you have to be careful with this man.

In front of me, on the couch (the same couch I laid, the day I meet Derek) sat two beautiful girls and Stiles. One of the girls was strawberry blond. She had heavily painted lips with red lipstick and a habit to put them in an o-shape (yeah, I have already noticed, because she was doing that all the time). She was wearing a dress and a high-heels (it is January for God's sake!) and a winter coat (ooo, so she had noticed it is below zero outdoors). I focused my senses on her. She was human but also something else… Not a werewolf. Definitely not a werewolf.

Next to her sat a lovely brunette. Her dark hair was curled and mid-back length. She had make up, but it was more natural than the girl sitting beside her. She had a dark coat, dark skinny jeans and black boots. I could sense she was human. Very nervous, insecure and sad. I also felt grieve and a little anger from her. I couldn't tell their eyes color, because it was dark and that camp lamp standing on the floor wasn't providing enough light. Well, I believe for all those werewolves it was enough.

Near the couch stood Scott. He and Stiles were themselves. Happy, carefree little puppies, except that Scott was a werewolf and Stiles not. But I could feel some potential in Stiles…

Behind the Strawberry blond (yep, I gave her a nickname) stood a blond boy. His short hair was cut thoroughly and carefully. The same as his clothes were picked. Tight jeans, shirt and a pullover. He lacked a tie, glasses and a hat and he would look like those people in TV. I hated them and I didn't like him. Arrogance and cockiness (in which he tried to cover his insecurity) rolled off of him in waves. Gods, how I hated and despised people like him. He was a werewolf.

The last one was Isaac. Standing in the corner to my left, watching me intently. I smirked at that. I was getting used to his staring.

While I was ogling them, they did the same to me. So maybe it's time to describe my appearance. I'm not tall, I'm 164 cm height. My mother always advises me to wear heels, but I don't feel comfortable in that kind of shoes, so I usually wear flats. I'm not skinny. I have some muscles on me though (because of work, dance and sometimes workout) but I also have some belly. My figure is… you can say quite feminine. I have breasts (B-cup if I must be precise), but they could be a little bigger though, to balance my curved hips and ass. In general, I wear size 38.

Unlike to my feminine figure my face is much younger. Don't get me wrong. In my opinion I have expressive facial features, but a lot of people think I'm younger than in reality. And some of them even think I'm underage and check my ID. Can you imagine that?! I laugh in their faces, when they ask me to show ID, and thinking I'm 17 it occurs I'm 27. Bam! That's a balls kicker.

So how do I look? Normal. I've got long blond hair, but saying long, I mean looong. They go back below my waist till back ends and ass starts. My bangs are shaded. Ordinary blue eyes, nothing special about them. Expressive, dark eyebrows, which never meet henna, and long eyelashes. Long, straight nose, which could be a little better in my opinion. Small, but full lips.

Oh, there's one more thing that people envy me except my hair - my nails. I must say, I have nice palms and long, slim fingers. My nails are always long, but never painted. Well, maybe sometimes… with transparent nail polish. Then they look like they had french manicure, but they haven't been touched by french manicure ever.

I don't put make-up. I don't need it. My skin is nice and clean. Only a little foundation, because every morning I have shadows under my eyes. I'm sure it is because I don't get enough sleep, while my friends always say it is because I have too much sleep. It's our never ending quarrel.

I was wearing dark violet turtleneck, tight, black pants and knee high black boots. My coat was black, with hood and belt around waist. My big, black bag was slung over my shoulder, as always. The only colorful thing was my turquoise woolen scarf and my loose hair.

- Everyone, this is Agnes - only Scott and Stiles greeted me by smiling - She's going to help us…  
- How this little girl stinking with cats can help us? - the Blond boy asked. Oh, my dislike just aggravated… I growled.  
- Shut up Jackson! - it was Scott.  
I took a step forward to be closer to that boy. Everyone was silent. I turned my eyes turquoise.  
- If you ever again call me little, girl or stinking with cats - I counted those expressions on my fingers, every time extending one of my nails to a claw - I will use that words and carve them on your naked body, then tie you to the front door and leave you to be the laughing stock of the school - I smiled menacingly showing him my fangs. He was speechless and terrified as he moved away from me.

- Wow, this I call some introducing - the man from the corner said.  
- Peter… - I heard Derek growl in a warning.  
- What? I liked that - I almost heard Derek rolling his eyes.  
- You smell a little like Derek - I said - Who are you?  
- I'm his uncle. Peter Hale - he smiled and bowed in an old fashion way.  
- I'm not that old. Those pleasantries doesn't affect me - I assured him and extended my hand to shake his.  
- This means I can't kiss your hand? - I again heard growling from Derek.  
- Don't you even dare - I warned him, but still had smile on my lips. After we shook hands, I turned to Scott.

- Scott, I think we should have a normal greeting.  
- Yeah - he smiled and shook my hand firmly. After that I smacked Stiles at the back of his head.  
- Ouch! What was that for?! - he had thrown his hands in the air and was babbling something about everyone hitting him and his jeep.  
- It was for rummaging in my bag - he wasn't listening - Stiles - I had to growl at him.  
- Yes! And you definitely should stop growling at me! And I don't mean only you, I mean everyone! Because… - I had to stop him from talking. But how do you stop a hyperactive teenage boy? Teenage boy, who is filled with hormones… Ooo, I knew exactly how to do that and how to focus his attention on me.

His jacket was unzipped and when he was raising his hands up I could see his navel. I licked my lips, as I knew this is going to be fun. I slipped my hand under his clothes, just above his belt. My fingers spread. Then clenched. I heard him hiss and felt his arousal. I had his full attention now and he had red scratches on his belly from my nails. His big, brown and beautiful eyes looking at me perplexed.

It all happened within seconds. Scott was still beside us, but he wouldn't dare to do anything to stop me. Derek was growling and the rest was watching wide-eyed. I put my hand on his nape and pulled him closer.  
- You have to learn concentration Stiles… among other things - I said it so that everybody could hear me.  
- What…  
- Shhh… - I put a finger on his soft lips - You are not allowed to talk now, unless someone asks you a question - I said in a sweet, low voice - Do you understand?  
- Yeah… - I released him, smiled at him and walked away from him. I approached the brunette.

- Don't try your tricks on me, because they won't work. I'm not afraid of you - she really wasn't. Her heart rate was steady. I quirked an eyebrow at her.  
- Yes, you are not afraid. I can feel it - she was surprised - But that doesn't change the fact that you feel insecure and out of place. So why are you here…? - my voice and hands movement indicated that I wanted to know her name.  
- Allison. My name's Allison Argent - she said it like that meant something.  
- Should that family name mean something to me? - I asked looking at Derek.  
- It's a family of hunters - my anger peaked - With whom we have a truce - he added to calm me down, but it was in vain.  
- And she is here?! As a part of your pack?! - my anger rose. This time Scott reacted.  
- Scott no! - I heard Derek shout, while Scott touched my hand.  
- Agnes please… - he couldn't finish his sentence, because I crushed that hand of his.  
- Do. Not. Touch. Me - I growled at him.  
- Agnes, calm down - it was Derek, standing beside me.  
- Do not tell me what to do Derek. I'm not a child - he only poured oil to the fire.  
- But you're as stubborn - I had to smile at that. He once told me that and it humored me then. And now it did the same. I calmed a little and looked at Scott. His hand was still healing. I huffed. I shouldn't hurt him like that. I let him feel my remorse as a silent apology. He looked at me and nodded as he accepted it.

- Still, I wasn't answered why is she here? - I tried to calm my voice down, but knew I still sounded angry.  
- She can help us defend against the alphas - Derek reasoned.  
- That, I understand, but it doesn't explain why a hunter is among a pack of werewolves? It's not like you didn't know who she is and yet let her be. Why? - I was looking at Derek, but my instincts told me to look at Scott again.  
- I… - he started hesitantly and looked at Allison.  
- We were seeing each other - she said - But then we broke up - I felt her sadness - And we're not together anymore - she added immediately.  
- But you wish you could be together again - it was deep down inside her, that feeling.  
- I… don't know… - she said slowly. She wasn't lying. She really didn't know.  
- It's your life, your decision - I wasn't going to interfere in that - But tell me this. Why are you here? Why helping them? - those questions were bothering me.  
- Because despite there are some issues between us, they're still my friends - she smiled a little not looking at me.  
- And your family?  
- The truce we have with Allison's father - Derek said, putting emphasis on the "father" part - is strong, despite some issues as she had named it. We don't want to fight against each other. Especially now, when we have to deal the alpha pack. I huffed.  
- Ok. I agree. I approve - I said looking at Derek, then at Alison and smiled. She smiled back. I moved my gaze to Strawberry blond - Do you know who you are? - She was looking at me with eyes wide open and her lips in this o-shape. I knew she was terrified. Then she flipped her hair and said.

- Of course I know. I'm Lydia Martin. And you didn't deign to introduce yourself properly. And that's just rude - she straightened her dress and put her palms flat on her laps like those good girls do. I was surprised. I smirked.  
- Some perfect housewife here? - I quirked my eyebrow at her - And I never considered myself a polite person.  
- Apparently not - ooo, she was feisty. I liked that. I smirked again.  
- You're not only a human Lydia - I felt a peak of curiosity from everyone - That's why, I was asking, if you know who or what you are - she fell silent.  
- She was bitten, but haven't turned - Derek started explaining - Then she was immune to Kanima's poison… - I lifted my eyebrow at that - It was some mythical creature we had to deal…  
- You described symptoms, but you don't know the reason of that, do you? - I was watching him intently.  
- No - he admitted after a while - Do you? - he asked with hope.  
I looked at Lydia and turned my head to the side. I noticed, I was doing that when I was thinking something through. I focused my senses on her. Her scent reminded me of something… but I couldn't put my finger on it… I definitely have smelled it before…

- Not yet - I moved away from her. For now, there was nothing more I could do. I had to think about her in more peaceful place, where I could concentrate - Isaac… - I felt his fear - You don't have to fear me - I smiled, while I was standing in front of him - What could a little girl like me do to a big boy like you? - I teased.  
- A lot - he said wide-eyed. I smirked.  
- That's true. But as long as you don't provoke me, I won't harm you - I patted his arm. The moment I said "harm", Derek started growling. I faced him - First you ask me for help and then you growl at me? - I said irritated.  
- Don't threaten my pack - he said through clenched teeth.  
- Then discipline them - I hissed. The room became heavy with tension. We were glaring each other.

- I hate to break this staring contest… - Derek growled louder as Peter interfered - but I want to ask question everyone has in mind…  
- Which is? - I looked at Peter, but I was still aware of Derek.  
- Why are you helping us?  
- Because I can. And because I'm not as mean as everybody thinks - I smirked, but that was it. There were no hidden truths. As always, I was honest to the bone.  
- And that's it?  
- That's it - I nodded.  
- And what is your relationship witch us?  
- Peter you're pushing the line - Derek warned him.  
- Oh, come on! You have problem with trusting people and now, out of the blue, you bring her in? - I felt Derek's anger rising. I lifted my hand, to calm them and answered quickly.  
- I'm a friend. I trust him. And I believe he trusts me too - I smiled a little at Derek and his anger started subside - But I don't plan becoming part of this pack. I'm a cat - I started to explain - We are individuals, who walks their own path. It is not in my nature to be in a pack.  
- Are you ok with that Derek? - I didn't understand Peter's question.  
- She said she would help. I'm ok with that - he had time to calm down and his voice was steady, but I felt his disappointment.  
- She is standing next to you, Derek. And doesn't like when someone talks about her in third person - he looked at me, while Peter was grinning - And what's with this "are you ok with that"? I could refuse to help and you wouldn't be able to do anything about that - Derek growled a little - Don't start. It won't do any good.

After a while we reached some kind on compromise between our difficult characters. I inhaled deeply. Then exhaled. Zen.  
- Ok. I believe we have some kids to find - it was about time to do, what I came here for.


	5. Chapter 5

Derek nodded to Isaac, who picked a backpack and tossed it to him.  
- This is Erica's - he put out some t-shirt's - and this is Boyd's - I took them and inhaled their scent.  
- Ugh - the smell was awful.  
- Yeah, that's a teenagers' scent… - Stiles had to speak. I smirked.  
- It's not that. They were together, weren't they? Like a couple - I asked Derek and he nodded - That's the thing that displeasures me - I told Stiles - And I told you not to talk unless asked, haven't I? - I felt his nervousness.  
- Yep. Totally zipping up.  
- Let's go - Derek motioned me to go first.  
- You want me to lead? - ooo, that was something I wasn't expecting from him.  
- This time, yes - I had some sarcastic remark in my mind ready to be said, but seeing who was going with us, I had to protest.  
- No. The Blond boy is not going with us - Derek growled at my stepping in his alpha business - Don't growl at me. The boy is bad on me. You want me to find them, leave the boy then - my reasoning must convinced him, but he huffed showing his displeasure.  
- Jackson stay here - the boy just snorted – Scott, you too - everyone looked at him surprised.  
- What? No, man! You can't do this! Those are my friends! - he was fuming. I rolled my eyes.  
- Oh Scott… You really don't understand, do you? - I mocked - Derek wants you to stay here to watch his den and the rest of the pack, while he isn't here - said alpha gave me a growl, but this time I ignored it - It's a sign of his trust - I gave him a hard look, so he knew I was serious.  
- But… - he was quite shocked.  
- Stay - the way Derek said it, with his alpha voice was cutting any further discussion.

Scott obliged and we exited the house. Saying "we" I mean me, Derek, Peter and Isaac. I stopped in the middle of the lawn in front of the house. Erica and Boyd scents' were around the house and disappearing into the forest. In various directions.  
- You have to give me some leads Derek. Which direction should I follow? - he raised his hand and pointed space little to my right.  
- There.  
- Ok. Try to be quiet, so I could concentrate.  
I followed Derek's tip and the scents. Moving away from the house I heard Scott saying:  
- Is she serious? I mean Derek and trust? It's like… - I didn't pay attention to his babbling and focused on finding the betas.

We were deep in the forest, when I caught some scents: blood, Erica, Boyd and five other werewolves. One of them was that brunette bitch. It looked like the betas were running from north-east to the Hale house. Then they stopped and were surrounded by alphas. There was a lot of dried blood, which indicated fight. Now I understand, why Derek wanted to find them so quickly. Kids were wounded and despite werewolf healing abilities their condition was bad. But I believe they're still alive, because otherwise their alpha would felt their death. I told my companions what I deduced.

- Yeah... We found out the same - Derek nodded. Ugh... I knew this is pointless. I felt like he was testing me. And I didn't like it.  
- You want me to follow that woman's scent? - I asked him, showing my displeasure. He just nodded. And I growled in irritation, but focused on the scent.  
It was faint, but I tried very hard not to lose it. We were walking for some time, still in the woods. But I could tell we were getting close to the edge of the forest and the woman's scent started to fade away. I also got distracted by other scents: car exhaust, people, food and many more. In the end I was confused.

- This is useless guys - I said discouraged - I lost it and now...  
- Then find it - Derek was irritated and as always angry flashing his red eyes.  
- Don't order me like that - I was hissing, because someone could hear us from the street - I'm not your subordinate.

Derek started growling at me for disregarding his authority again, but I wasn't staying in the back. I also flashed my eyes at him and started growling. It was a warning. One more word from him and I'll attack, because his arrogance was starting to irritate me.  
The tension was visible. Isaac was scared, but Peter was cool under pressure:

- Derek as much as you like to show your alpha power, I suggest you to stop it now. Agnes said she lost the track, so maybe it's time to go back - I had a feeling Peter was taking some of his nephew's anger at himself, but I wasn't going to thank him for that. I could handle Derek and Peter's help wasn't needed.  
The look Derek gave his uncle meant trouble. I was almost sure, that when we'll be back they are going to fight.  
- Not yet - the alpha was as always so exuberant. He just turned and started walking. I was perplexed, but what was I supposed to do? I followed him, just like Isaac and Peter who was huffing and murmuring under his breath:  
- Such a drama queen... - I smirked at that.

As Derek said, we couldn't go back to his house. Of course not! What for? It is better to keep wandering around in the woods for all night! No matter others has to go to work the next day. But of course he doesn't care, because it's not his problem. Maybe we get lucky and the alphas will attack us. Oh, for fucking Sake!  
Yes. I was babbling in my head. All the time. I didn't care that they could smell my anger and frustration. I only cared, if Derek noticed that.

Finally, the Hale house appeared before us. And my car. The rest was gone. And Scott. Sitting on the steps of the house.  
- Where... - Isaac started.  
- I told them to go home - Scott started - Jackson was bitching and I didn't know when will you be back - he stood before Derek like he was reporting to him. The alpha seemed to be quite pleased about that.  
- Oh, we would be sooner, but someone decided to be all highly and mighty... - I said like I didn't care, but of course I was all anger. Everybody could see that.  
- That is enough! - he roared at me and when he turned to face me, I knew he was wolfed, so I prepared myself.

Isaac was terrified, Scott surprised. They didn't know what to do, but it was obvious not to get in the crossfire. Peter hushed them and placed himself in a safe distance from us, but still with a good view. He was expecting some kind of show...

I knew Derek was better prepared to fight. Beside his muscles that ripped beneath his skin, I saw how he moved and what could he do to his opponent. But I didn't care. I was furious. At him, at males, at everything. I roared. I. Was. Fury.  
I pounced at him and we clashed. My legs clutched around his waist were causing him pain. My jaw instinctively wanted to clench on his neck and crush his throat along with the spine, but I only managed to bite him in the collar bone. My claws were ripping at his chest. Finally, he was able to throw me off and during that motion I was able to kick him. But only then I noticed he hurt me. My ribcage was almost crushed from pressure he put on it and I believe he did something to my knees, when he was peeling my legs off of him.

By all means I was trying to avoid his punches and kicks. It was easy for some time, because with my speed I could make up my lack of training. But only until I got hit. The punch to my stomach was powerful and I swore, I was blind from pain for couple of seconds. I landed on the ground with a thud, panting and swearing. But I couldn't stay like that any longer. Derek was approaching me. I did something I learned at Capoeira (I never trained, only watched my friends train). It's called scissors. You basically slit someone's legs. I did it very fast, he even haven't noticed my moves and he was already landing on the ground. I managed to kick him while he was still in the air.

The fight wasn't long, but it was intense. We both showed to each other our anger, frustration and displeasure. The reasons for those feelings were different, but in the end we looked the same: dirty, wet, panting, bloodied. We were looking in each other's eyes and found something there... Calm and peace. It was weird, but it was soothing, calming and so peaceful. I haven't felt like that for a very long time. And I knew Derek was feeling the same.

Also Peter noticed that, because I heard him say: Hmm, interesting. He thought he said it only to himself, but I definitely heard him.  
- I assume you are done? - he said aloud this time.  
- You're next Peter.  
- Yes, yes, of course. But maybe first let them go home - Peter motioned me, Scott and Isaac - We have all night for you to beat me without witnesses - he winked at me - so I can always say I fell from the stairs.

Derek growled. Scott was disgusted with Peter, but Isaac's reaction was disturbing to me. He felt terrified and sentimental at the same time. And then sad, but it quickly was replaced by feeling of freedom and relief. I was astonished. But only for a moment. Then I was all in pain. I had to sit on the stairs and concentrate on healing. Yeah... I learned how to do it by my own. As always. Like with everything.

- Scott bring her bag and make sure she returns home safe - I was surprised by his words, but when I looked at him, I only could see his back. He left into the woods without sparing me a glare.  
- Men... - was all I could say.

* * *

I was in the bus. On my way to work. I was mindlessly staring out of the window. I couldn't think anymore. I didn't want to feel anything. I was overloaded. With emotions. With thoughts. I just wanted my heart to be ripped out of my chest and my brain eaten by monkeys. Yeah… those were my words, when I was heartbroken about a year ago. And though I wasn't heartbroken now, they fitted my mood perfectly.

The bus was driving over the bridge, when I smelled something weird. I wanted to ignore it, but fuck I couldn't. I got out and followed this scent. I wandered around between buildings. The longer it took, the more irritated I was. But finally, I stood before a place were the scent was the strongest. It was a veterinary clinic. I was very surprised.

The moment I entered the clinic, I was hit with overwhelming stink caused by medicines and animals. Don't get me wrong. I'm used to that because of my studies, but now when my senses were enhanced, it became difficult to manage. I coughed a little and tried to get use to the scents.

- How can I help you? - asked the receptionist friendly. I looked around and realized she was addressing me.  
- I… ymm… would like to consult about my cat with doctor…  
- Deaton?  
- Yes, with doctor Deaton - I was already putting to memory that name, 'cos something told me it would be useful later.  
- Would you like to make an appointment?  
- Not now - I noticed business cards and took one - Thank you and goodbye - I smiled a little.

Now, that I know were to find, I definitely was going to visit this healer. I inhaled the air there and with this thought in my mind I left.

* * *

- Scott's not here, I assume? - I asked politely. There was only me in the hall. I waited till everyone was gone, which wasn't long. The clinic obviously hasn't got too many patients.  
- Should he be? - dark skinned man answered me calmly. I smiled.  
- You know… It is rude to answer question with a question - I smirked this time.  
- I don't think I should be polite to a person, who doesn't even introduces herself - his voice still calm. Because he was calm. This man was very calm and composed.  
- My name won't be any use to you. But… - I knew I have to interest him somehow, because otherwise he's going to kick me out - I came here to introduce myself to you in a different manner… - ooo, he was good. So composed… but underneath, I could felt his interest picked.

I started circling around him, to see if he'll understand what I am. Never leaving his eyes, as he did the same. I was wondering, if he knew he was challenging me. I could charge at him any moment. But probably he knew. I felt he knew. That, and a lot more. He would be useful. I should not harm him. On the other hand, I was wondering if I would be able to harm him… But today was not a day to find that out.

- How much do you know about cats?  
- As much as a veterinarian should know to do his job properly - ooo, he wasn't going to slip anything…  
- Ok, so maybe I'll start. Cats have weaker sense of smell than dogs, but it doesn't mean I can't smell those herbs you keep here – I knocked my nail on doors of his wall cabinet – Or other "stuff" you keep in this clinic – I was eyeing him very closely, listening to beating of his heart and concentrating on his smell and feelings. He was so damn composed! Was he a monk or something?!  
- If you are looking for drugs…  
- Hahaha! Drugs? Are you serious? I don't need shit like that – I had to lean on the exam table to keep my composure.  
I looked seriously at him.  
- I'm talking about things that make me want to sneeze. Things that make air vibrate around them. It's not only smell. There's a feeling also… - now he was watching me closely – Let's be clear: you are not a normal veterinarian and I am not a normal cat owner.  
That seemed to convince him a bit.  
- What do you want from me then?  
- What I asked you before. How much do you know about cats?  
- I assume, it's not about an average cat? – I smiled, but then was serious again.  
- No, it's not. It is about a werecat… - I watched him closely again. He wasn't that surprised. So he knows...  
- Werecats are rare…  
- Wait! Why aren't you persuading me there are no werecats? Are you going to support crazy woman on her believes to deceive her? And then call 911? – I mocked, but he haven't caught the joke.  
- I don't think you are crazy…  
- And you don't think meeting werecats and werewolves doesn't count as crazy?  
- What do you mean: meeting werewolves?  
- I am familiar with Derek and his pack. All of his pack. And also had an unpleasant encounter with one of the alphas… - ooo, now he was extremely interested. And disturbed.  
- And you are still alive. I'm impressed.  
- Something tells me, it's not easy to impress you…  
- You are correct – he nodded.  
- In that case – I smiled – Thank you for the compliment – this time he smiled.  
There was silence between us. I decided it's time for me to come to the point.  
- I came here because I believe you have sources and abilities to expand my knowledge about werecats, about my kind…  
- As I said before, werecats are rare…  
- And as I said before, I believe you have the most effective sources and abilities – I was getting angry, but understood I had to trade with him – Ok, what do you want from me in exchange? – he seemed surprised. I lifted my eyebrow at him.  
- First tell me this: what is your connection to the Hale Pack? – I huffed.  
- I am not part of this pack. I'm a werecat for Gods' Sake – why don't they understand that?  
- Derek's pack consists of lot of things…  
- Mostly of teenagers – I snorted.  
- That is not what I am talking about…  
- Yes, I know what you're talking about – I looked at him thoughtfully – I'm not a part, nor I want to be.  
- What if they ask you for help? – I smirked.  
- Derek already did – it was Deaton's turn to raise his brows – To find this alpha pack and his betas.  
- Is that so… - I nodded.  
- Something tells me you're not on good terms with each other…  
- We should be… - there was sadness in his voice – But Derek has… – he was carefully picking his words – issues, that are blocking him – I smirked.  
- O yeah, I know what you mean. He has a lot of issues. But I'm not here to talk about him.  
- It seems he trusts you… - Deaton was lost in his thoughts and didn't seem to listen.  
I could always remind him, it's not wise to lost focus near a wild animal…  
- So how is it going? – he finally spoke.  
- What?  
- Looking for Betas and the Alpha Pack.  
- Fucking fantastic! Last time we ended all claws, fangs and blood – Deaton looked at me perplexed.  
- You were attacked by the alphas?  
- No. I was attacked by Derek and he was attacked by me – I grinned.  
- I think I don't understand…  
- He pissed me with his alpha boss ass, so I stood up to him... And it ended almost gore. In fact, it should have been censored for Scott and Isaac, as they are underage – I was grinning.  
- You stood up to Derek in front of his pack?  
- It just happened – I shrugged – He knows how to pull my strings… The same comes for me.  
- I see… You are quite an independent young woman.  
- I am a very independent young woman – again I grinned.  
- Interesting… - he looked at me with new interest. I didn't like it.  
- Don't say that – I almost growled – It is enough Peter says that.  
- Does he?  
- Yes – this time it was a growl. I hoped, it will stop him from further questions. I was right – So, what do you want in exchange from me?  
- Let's do that: I start looking for information and when I gather some more, I will let you know – I nodded.  
- Mhmm. You can tell Scott to contact me, but don't give him any information. Can you do that?  
- You don't trust him?  
- Scott has a big heart. It's easy to trust him – Deaton looked at me like I was avoiding the answer – I do trust him. But I would prefer him learning things about me from me, ok?  
- Yes.  
- Thank you. But you still haven't told me…  
- I will ask you for my favor when time comes – he answered cryptically.  
- I don't like it, but I trust you – I looked him in the eye.  
- Really? – he was visibly surprised.  
- Yes – I grinned as I came closer to him – But be aware – our eyes still on each other – I know where to find you, if I lose this trust – I whispered the last part to his ear.  
Ooo, this was fun. I started circling him again.  
- You know, you could ask Stiles to research those information for you? – I snorted.  
- And hear all those questions about the heat?! – I asked rhetorically – No. Thank you.  
- You are probably right – he smirked lightly.  
I stepped back and smiled warmly. Yes, I could smile like that. I just usually haven't got reasons to do that.  
- Well… I think it's time for me to go – I reached my hand to shake his – It was nice meeting you, doctor Deaton.  
- You to – he smiled.  
- Really? Or you're just saying that out of politeness? – I winked at him, but moment later I felt a wave of sentiment coming off from him.  
- Do I… remind you of someone? – I felt déjà vie.  
- Yes… a friend. She passed away last year – shit! I hated situations like that.  
- It's sad to hear that… - now I just wanted to get out of here immediately.  
- Yes… it is – he was deep in thoughts, so I started leaving – I didn't get your name! – he shouted behind my back.  
- Oh, yeah… - I smiled – It's Agnes – and with that, I left.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry for updating so late, but I'm pretty occupied at work :/ Next updates also can be delayed, sorry again.

* * *

I was on my way to my English course, listening „With the teeth" Nine Inch Nails, when my phone vibrated. I looked who it was. Stiles. I groaned. This was not going to be good…

- Yeah?  
- Oh, thank God! - Stiles exclaimed. I thought what God has to do with that?  
- Stiles, right now I don't have time to chat with you. Has something happened?  
- No, nothing I know of. I think Scott would tell me if… - I couldn't stand his rambling.  
- Stiles! What the fuck do you want from me!? - I know, I was on the street, but the kid was infuriating.  
- Jesus… chill. I… I wanted to ask you, if you could help me... with my math homework? - was the kid blushing? I could hear his heart racing with anticipation. And to be honest? I liked that…  
- Math? Really?  
- Yeah… - I huffed.  
- Ok. But I'm free after 7pm and you have to come here to pick me up - I wasn't asking.  
- Aye captain! - he joked cheerfully. I rolled my eyes, gave him the address and hung up.

* * *

As it turned out, I wasn't the only person Stiles asked to his house. There was also Scott and Isaac in his room. As I walked in, I felt their anxiety. I didn't like that. I didn't want them to be afraid of me.  
In fact, I never wanted people to be afraid of me, but somehow I managed to get people anxious. I never could understand how this small and insignificant person who was me could have that influence on people.

- Oh, I thought we were gonna study not party - I said with a smile, as I tried to lighten the mood.  
- We're in the same class, so we thought… - Scott started.  
- If it's not ok with you, we can go… - Isaac was already lifting from the floor.  
- Oh, come on guys! Of course we can all work on the derivative of the function – I motioned them to stay where they were - I know, I might be the same age as some of your teachers, but I'm not that old for God's sake. It's ok as long as you won't start talking stupid things to me, ok? - They all nodded.

For the next 45 minutes I was explaining them the topic, which to be honest I had to refresh strongly from their books. High school was long time ago for me. Then they started doing examples step by step. I had to admit, that Stiles was the brightest from the three of them. He understood the problem and knew how to solve it. Soon he was helping Scott and Isaac with their examples.

- Can we take a break? I'm beat! - said exhausted Scott. I raised my brow at that.  
- You are beat after a hour with minutes of math? How are you gonna survive studies with hour and a half classes? Or sometimes even longer? - his eyes went wide. It was hilarious.  
- I don't want to think about that now - he replied.  
- Yeah, you usually don't want to think at all - Stiles mocked and I had to smile at that. I was starting to like that over talkative boy.  
- Hey! That's unfair. I helped you with… - the two of them started arguing, but I lost interest in them.

I looked at Isaac, who was always so quiet and distant, like he wanted to vanish or make himself invisible or just to be left alone. He noticed me looking at him and for a second our eyes meet. I felt he wanted to ask me about something, but his shyness stopped him. I smiled to encourage him and he started blushing. He looked at the floor. I just sighed and walked to the window. It was getting late and I should probably go home, but I could also use this opportunity to ask them some questions. I just didn't know which should be first.

- Will you really be able to track them? - I heard Isaac ask warily behind my back. I turned to him. He was looking at me with lost puppy eyes. The boys stopped whatever they were doing and looked at me, at Isaac and again at me.  
- You miss them so much? - I asked with concern, I never thought I had. He nodded.  
- They were… no, they are my friends and… and pack.  
- When it comes to a pack, I don't know anything about it, but I know how it is to miss a friend - I smiled a little - And I will help as much as I can to get them back.  
Ugh, it just sounded like a promise. I'm not good with promises, because if you won't keep it, even if it is not your fault, people will always put it on you.  
- Can you tell me how it happened in the first place? - this was one of my questions, and maybe during the answer I might get some more details about all this situation.  
- Because Derek is a shitty Alpha - was Scott's immediate answer.  
- And you're a shitty werewolf too, dude - Stiles finally said something. I started to worry, when he was quiet for so long. - You didn't know any werewolf stuff! I had to tell you everything. And also, I taught you how to control the wolf - he said that with pride.  
- Learning control isn't that hard - I interrupted their quarrel. Stiles snorted.  
- Yeah, right. Wish you were here couple of months ago. This guy here - he shook Scott by his shoulders – is no egghead.  
- And that only proves my point!  
- It's easy, if you have an anchor - Isaac spoke absentmindedly.  
- What is an anchor? - I had to ask. Boys looked at me like I was from space. - What?! - I snapped.  
- You really don't know? How do you even shift? - Stiles as always wanted to know everything.  
- I almost order myself to do it and it happens - Stiles rolled his eyes and flailed his hands.  
- But what do you feel then? Or what do you think about?  
- Emotions - was all I said. I wasn't going to tell them how I managed to gain control over my cat, over myself… Because honestly? I didn't know myself. There were too many emotions, too many things I was thinking, too much pain… I was definitely not talking about that with them.  
- Oh my god! It's like talking with Derek! Are you also emotionally conspirated like him? Because I noticed, unlike him, you know how to use your words - Stiles was getting on my nerves, so I had to mitigated him.  
- Do not talk to me about my emotions like you know them Stiles - I said in a low voice.  
- Yep, you're definitely emotionally conspira… - Scott cut him off, putting a hand over his mouth.  
- Stiles you should stop. Don't you see, she's pissed?  
- An anchor is a person, an emotion that triggers your shift and also lets you come back - Isaac supplied me with an answer - For me it's my father - he was ashamed, when Scott shoot him look like "WTF man?".  
- For me it's… Allison - he also admitted, little ashamed - And for you Agnes?  
- It's complicated - I blunted, but the werewolves knew it's the truth.  
- Come on… - Stiles whined.  
- Shut up Stiles. It's true.  
- Your little werewolf senses are telling you that? - he mocked.  
- Little? - Scott was very easy to lost the main track - … Not the point. Yes, they are.  
- Thank you Scott. Now, that we know your senses are small… - I grinned and heard Stiles and Isaac giggle - Could you please tell me from the start how this all happened? - I saw Stiles' eyes lit whit anticipation and excitement - But please, cut the crap with nature descriptions, characteristics and romance developments. Stick to the facts, ok?

So for the next hour or more I was filled with all the events that happened during the last months. It started with finding the body of Laura Hale, Derek's sister (Half of the body! What? It's crucial information, because of that we went looking for another half - Stiles of course had to elaborate). So during the search for another half Scott got bitten, then they met Derek (Unpleasant Hale - Scott interrupted)(Dude! He gave you back your inhaler)(Yeah, but as it occurred, I didn't need it anymore). Then was Allison. Meeting with her, meeting her father (and finding out her whole family are werewolves hunters) and again Allison when Scott learned control. Then Stiles started babbling about his crush on Lydia and I had to stop them (Guys, one more word about love or infatuation and I will cut your scrotum, take out your testicles, throw them away and tie a bow with your spermatic cord. And I warn you, I really know how to do it). After that there were no side love stories.

Then were those animal attacks that had occurred to be done by Peter, when he became an Alpha after killing Laura (I knew there was more than meets the eye when it comes to that man). As the alpha he healed from burns he got from surviving the Hale fire. He was driven by instinct and started killing people who were responsible for the fire. He also killed the ringleader - Kate Argent (Allison's aunt and Derek's former girlfriend when he was a teenager, who then tortured him and tried to kill him). Derek was accused of killing his sister and the janitor at school.

In the meantime Peter tried to bit Scott's mom as an encourage for Scott to join his pack (if Peter will think about something like that with me, I'm going to kill him)(Oh! And you know what? Alphas can show you their memories by digging their claws into your neck - you knew that?)(No Stiles, I didn't know that) and has ordered Derek to kill Jackson. Also, Peter offered the bite to Stiles (but he declined), unsuccessfully bit Lydia, because (as I already knew) she haven't turned. Instead, she went missing and after she was found, everyone thought she was crazy. People thought that she was the one eating organs from dead bodies. On top of that, she was wandering naked in the woods. She was in shock and her sanity was questioned.

Then Derek decided to kill Peter and he became the Alpha (I got very colorful description of how did they manage to put down an Alpha), which led to him biting Jackson, Isaac, Erica and Boyd to create his pack. But it occurred that Jackson was immune to the bite and soon he became the Kanima, first controlled by some Matt and then by Gerard, Allison's grandfather (what the fuck?! What's with those Argents? They are everywhere). Isaac's father was killed by the Kanima (so in fact, by Jackson), there was a massacre at the police station and Scott's mom get to know he's a werewolf (Wow, how did she take it?)(She wasn't talking to me for two weeks, but it's quite ok now). Matt was found dead, Allison's mother killed herself, after Derek bit her in order to save Scott, who she tried to kill.

Peter managed to come back from the death and he used Lydia and Derek to do that (What? Wait. How did he do that?)(Well… he threatened her, that he'll kill everybody. And believe me, with Peter freaking Hale it was possible)(And how did Derek help?)(Yyy, we don't really know)(I wasn't satisfied with this answer).

Erica and Boyd left to find another pack (it caught my breath. How Derek could let this happen? Wasn't the pack the most important thing for werewolves?), but Gerard caught and imprisoned them, and beat the crap out of Stiles (I could feel his shame and embarrassment). Then he used Kanima to blackmail Scott to make Derek bit him, so he could cure himself from cancer, but it didn't work, because Scott slipped mountain ash to his medications.

So now Jackson is finally a werewolf, Gerard is nowhere to be found (even his family doesn't know where he is), Erica and Boyd are still missing and to add a cherry on top of that fucking cake, Alpha Pack is in town! Oh, and Stiles' father starts suspecting something is off… Awesome! Just fucking awesome…

- Fuck… - was all I could manage after all this information. Some things become clearer now and some just complicated more.  
- Yep, this is just life of a normal teenager in this town - Stiles sarcastically summed it up.  
- This is not normal. This is all so fucked up - I noted.  
- That was sarcastic…  
- I know, moron - I rolled my eyes - Well… This explains, why Derek acts like he acts…  
- Wait, what? - Scott and his big eyes welcomed the conversation.  
- Oh, come on. Don't you see that? - for someone who solved two mysteries of the city, those kids were pretty oblivious to Derek's reasoning. They shook their heads. I huffed. - Why do you think, he's so "emotionally conspirated" as you put it Stiles? - still nothing from the boys - O. My. Fucking. God! - I had to raise hands to this nonexistent god - How would you feel, if all your family was burned alive?! By your ex? How would you feel, if your uncle had killed your sister? Wouldn't you be devastated? Hated people and life? Would you be able to go on and live? To try to stop your last family member before he would kill everybody? And follow your instincts to create a pack and cake care of them? - as I shouted all those questions at Scott, I started to develop a feeling of admiration towards Derek. Really, how was he able to get up every day and live on? If my family was dead, I think I… I would end up in a psychiatric hospital with a general break down.  
- He's not taking care of us, he's a dick! - Scott shouted angry at me. I could feel shock from both Stiles and Isaac and a lot of buried emotions in Scott.

Scott's issues with Derek weren't just about the pack thing. There was something deeper. Something dark hidden very deep inside Scott's soul and was emerging right now. But though I really wanted to know what those deep emotions were to help Scott cope with them, I couldn't manage to subside my anger at his words toward Derek. And I slapped him in the face. Hard. The impact caused him to lose balance and he felt on the floor with a thud. Again I felt shock, but this time from all the boys.

- I'm not taking his side, but you will not say things like that about Derek again - I said in a low voice, trying to contain my anger. My face was leveled to his and I could see his cheek burning red. - Imagine Allison kills your mother and then someone kills Stiles - I pointed at his friend to emphasize my words - Then imagine how would you feel and realize, that Derek is walking that kind of hell everyday - I got up and started leaving, but then remembered something - Stiles walk me to the door, will you? - I felt his fear, but he feared more not to obey me.  
- You're not going to eat me, right?  
- Depends on what kind of eating you're talking - I grinned. I had to admit, the boy was a challenge I was willing to accept.  
- I just pretend I didn't hear that…

We were by his front door. I knew Scott and Isaac were still in his room, so they could hear what I was going to say. Good, I wanted them to hear it, I just particularly didn't want to face them now.  
- Stiles there is something I wanted discuss with you, but after this… disagreement with Scott I think it's better if we talk tomorrow - I watched him closely. It was little difficult, because he was taller than me, his lean body next to mine… I wanted to touch him, but was almost 100% sure he would flinch.  
- What is it? - his curiosity took over anxiety as he whispered.  
- I think I know what you and Lydia are… - his brown eyes became enormously big, his breath caught in his lungs, his hands flailing as he was speechless.  
It was nice to make him speechless. What was not nice, was that he tripped and almost failed to the floor, but I caught him by the elbow and steadied. I smiled at him.  
- How? What? When? Oh my god…  
- I haven't told you what exactly and you're already acting like this? - I smirked.  
- If you know, then it has to be something nasty. Jackson turned into Kanima, so we probably will be much worse, like… - he started to use his imagination, but I cut him off.  
- Stiles - I took him by the arm - Focus Stiles - I cupped his cheek with my other hand and this tenderness seemed to get his attention.  
- How can you first slap someone with a force that throws them of balance and then be so gentle with the same hand - I smiled a little, because I was asking myself the same question.  
- It's just who I am. Bipolar. Listen. We should probably meet with Lydia, so I could talk with you both…  
- And Derek.  
- What?  
- Talk to Derek too, 'cos you know, it's pack business - he shrugged and I huffed - What? I thought… The way you were acting upstairs…  
- I don't want to know what you thought, but my last meeting with Derek ended in me almost ripping his throat out and vice versa, so I don't think he'll be happy to see me again soon - I smiled bitterly.  
- Wow, it's nice to hear someone finally kicked his ass - I glanced at him dangerously - but he's the Alpha and this is pack's stuff, so you should definitely include him in this conversation - I growled a little with frustration.  
- Fine. I'll set up a meeting with him - Stiles nodded - Tomorrow. In the evening. And I don't care if anybody has plans for Friday night.  
- We'll throw a party at the Hale house - Stiles wiggled his eyebrows.  
- Yeah… and Derek we'll throw you out, through a window.  
- Sarcastic. I like that - I had to smile at that.  
- Go to bed Stiles - I patted him on the shoulder - Have a good night for all that.  
- And have dreams about you? - I heard him behind my back.  
- You don't want to have dreams about me…

* * *

This was all fucked up. So fucked up. Why do I have a tendency to put myself in fucked up situations? Haven't I had enough of them in my life so far? And now I just added next ones.  
This was frustrating. My job was frustrating, my friends were frustrating and men were frustrating also. And what was the most frustrating, I wanted to fuck. I wanted to fuck, whip, bite, scratch, dominate. My need was becoming so difficult to manage, that it started to hurt.

I had to contact Derek, but I didn't want to so badly. Maybe I do it tomorrow? No, fuck it has to be done today. Ok, so one more minutes of this relaxing walk and I'll text him, 'cos calling was not an option.

After few rewritings I ended up with a text:  
To Derek:  
I have some pack's stuff to discuss with you about Lydia and Stiles. All interested, meeting tomorrow in the evening?  
Couple of minutes later:  
From Derek:  
Ok. I'll send the details when I get them  
To Derek:  
Ok

Well, that went smooth. But tomorrow might be a completely different story…


	7. Chapter 7

The meeting was set at 8pm at Isaac's house. I didn't know it was his house, because Derek only texted me an address. I called Stiles to check it with him and he filled me with that info. He also said that Scott is not coming. When I said he's acting like a upset girl, Stiles laughed and said he had told Scott the same. I grinned. Then remembered Scott's emotions. I tentatively asked Stiles about his friend's father. He was silent for a moment, but then he said:

- We kinda don't talk about him.  
- That is why I'm talking to you Stiles, not Scott. Where is he? Are Scott's parents divorced? - in my opinion information about Scott's father was the key to his approach to Derek - This is important Stiles. For Scott, not for me.  
- Thank god he's not around anymore - he said finally.  
- Are they divorced?  
- Yeah.  
- Did he do something to Scott or his mother? - I knew this question might be too much, but if the answer was positive, then I thought I had figured it out - Stiles, whatever it was, it is affecting him now.  
- How? - I could feel his concern.  
- Just tell me now and I'll explain it to you latter - he sighed.  
- Yeah… he did. I mean he did something to Scott and his mom. I remember him yelling, that he never wanted to see him again. Is that enough? I already feel bad.  
- Don't be Stiles. You haven't done anything to feel bad about - I assured him honestly - Thank you. And see you at the meeting tonight.  
- Yeah, bye.

* * *

I must say I was nervous before the meeting. It was of course because of how I interacted with Derek. No matter how calm and composed I tried to be, there always seemed to be a button he pushed with a word, tone of his voice or movement that made me angry and even triggered my shift. Don't get me wrong. It's not like I'm a ticking bomb all the time, just waiting to explode. I'm worse. I'm like the sun, exploding all the time, but I have this very strong magnetic field that is keeping my shit together. That magnetic field is my patience and restraint. If I hadn't had those two personality traits, I would hurt and kill a lot of people around me. I'm not kidding. As a human, for which I considered myself till over a week ago, I would of course never kill anybody. But with this newfound feline abilities it is very hard to compose myself, to hold back. To not let my predator instinct guide me. Because, honest to all Gods, I would definitely kill…

This time I wasn't late. I was even earlier, but I didn't want to come in yet. I knew Derek and Isaac were inside the house. They were moving something, not talking too much. Were they cleaning the house? Somewhat I couldn't imagine Derek doing chores. It felt almost surreal.  
On the opposite side of the road stood Jackson's Porsche. I looked at the big white house behind the car. It was very modern and it smelled like Jackson and Lydia. But it didn't smell like Jackson's relatives, but then I remembered. Jackson was adopted and that solved the lack of family scent.  
My contemplations were interrupted by loud noises made by a blue Jeep. Stiles arrived. Good. I didn't want to get there alone. Stop! What? I didn't want to go somewhere alone? Almost all of my life I was alone, always doing things alone. Why the fuck now wouldn't I?

I got out of my car and greeted Stiles with a smile.  
- You're in a good mood today?  
- Not really - he looked at me, opened his arms, mouth and shook his head. I burst out laughing.  
- Now you're in a good mood - he said triumphal and smiled.

We went into the house. Me first. I tried to get a hint of Derek's mood, so I stooped mid step. Just listening, feeling him. He was controlling his breathing. Bad sign. If he was controlling himself, it meant he was already pissed. His walk was heavy and I could hear him clutch his fingers on the box he was carrying. He was emitting all of the negative emotions, just like a storm cloud. Then I realized, how people in my surroundings felt when I was like that. I looked at Isaac covered in dust.

- Hi - I smiled.  
- Hi.  
- Some cleaning and moving?  
- Um, yeah. I'm throwing out my father's things - Isaac confessed.  
- Oh… - what else could I say about that?  
- Derek said you wanted to talk about something… - he started, looking shyly at me.  
- Yes, I want to talk to all of you - I motioned at Stiles, who was somewhere behind me and Lydia with Jackson, who have come while I was talking with Isaac, but I didn't pay attention to them till now - So it would be nice, if you could come here Derek - it felt like dealing with a very stubborn child. You have to be cautious, tender, but at the same time determined. Except, a child won't rip your throat out…

When he finally showed himself, his look was hard, jaw set, shoulders tensed, but his face was blank. His attitude screamed: fuck off. I sighed. I hadn't had any experience with children, especially stubborn and I never would have count myself a subtle person, so… This could go bad, extremely bad…  
- You know Alan Deaton… - I started and already felt his anger and Isaac's surprise, then I decided - Oh, fuck it. I won't beat around the bush. The vet, Lydia and Stiles have the same scent - Isaac's eyes went wide at that.  
- Whaaat?! - Stiles exclaimed and almost jumped at me - I'm not some black, cryptic voodoo master!  
- Stiles, calm down - I said as composed as I could.  
- Calm down?! You calm down! Try to calm down when you have ADHD! - he started flailing his hands and hyperventilating. Shit! I had zero experience with children and also zero experience with teenagers, but I had to do something.  
I kneeled in front of Stiles and cupped his face in my warm hands. I looked him in the eye. He was looking everywhere, couldn't focus his sight.  
- Close your eyes Stiles - I said quietly and pulled his head so it was resting on my chest - Listen to my breathing and even with it. Listen to my heartbeat and steady yours - I started petting lightly on his buzz cut hair.

We were on the floor for couple of minutes, while everybody was silent and not moving. I was cradling Stiles in my arms and wasn't paying attention to others. He was all that mattered now. After a while I noticed he started relaxing…  
- Will someone explain what the heck is she talking about!? - that was Lydia Martin getting angry. It was an interesting experience.  
- I am talking about the fact that you, Stiles and Deaton have the same scent, which means you have something in common - I said as I got up from the floor, making sure Stiles was ok now - And saying something in common, I mean that you have abilities… magical abilities… - Lydia's eyes went wide, her lips in this characteristic o-shape, she was shocked. But then, it changed.  
- Magical? Don't be ridiculous - she snorted and pursed her lips. I had to roll my eyes at that.  
- How do you know that? - it was Derek, he finally spoke. He wasn't neglecting my words, which meant he was considering them. That was good.  
- I'm familiar with this scent that connects the three of them. And now I finally know what it means - I started, but knew I had to explain this further - During my studies I have been living in various parts of the city. I don't know how long Deaton has his clinic exactly where it is now, but it may be possible that for over three years I was passing it on my way to the University. And for the last five months I was passing it again, smelling this scent unaware. So when I meet Lydia and her scent, it felt familiar somehow. The next day I went to that clinic and talked with Deaton. After that, I was certain he is not an ordinary veterinarian and that Lidia has some kind of magic in her…  
- And me? - Stiles asked, like I had forgotten about him.  
- You Stiles are a teenage boy… - I smiled although I believe the rest of them didn't understand why - and this "magic smell" was covered with the scent of your hormones. That's why I hadn't recognized it during our first or second meeting. Only when I was in your room yesterday and got to know your scent better, I was able to connect you to it, like I did with Lydia.  
- But Lydia is also a teenager… - Isaac pointed out. I smiled again.  
- Yes, but… how to say it. Lydia is a satisfied teenager and her hormones aren't covering her scent… opposite to Stiles - there was a group "Ohh" as they understood what I meant and Stiles' cheeks become incredibly red, which I liked, oh how much I liked them…  
- How do you know it's magic? - that was Derek again, were we playing 20 questions?  
- You know how I know - I looked him in the eye, though this wasn't his intension, I felt like he was challenging me - The scent of magic makes you want to sneeze. When you're near anything magical like special herbs, stones, artefacts or actual magic your skin tingles. You have this very strong feeling to get the hell away from it as far as you can. Have I passed? - I had to ask, sorry, I just had to. Derek only huffed and nodded.  
- So what now? Do we go to Hogsmeade and buy ourselves a wand? - Stiles and his pop culture references. I rolled my eyes, but smiled at the same time.  
- No. I think you should go to Deaton and ask him for guidance and directions.  
- You serious!? - I hoped he won't get any more panic attacks.  
- Yes, I am serious. Stiles this isn't any fantasy book or movie, this is life. A real life. And in the real life people get hurt and killed. And you - I pointed at all of them - have experienced it on your own skin already. So yes, if you want to be able to protect yourselves and the ones that you care about, you will go and talk to Deaton - my look was hard on Stiles and Lydia, as if it was hammering my words into their heads. Finally I averted my eyes and directed to Derek - Are you for or against?  
- For - he just said one word, but I felt like it was a weight off my mind - What time does the clinic closes tomorrow?  
- 4pm, I guess - Isaac answered unsure.  
- Yeah, something like that - Stiles confirmed.  
- Quarter to four. At the clinic. Lydia, Stiles… be there - that seemed to finish the meeting, but I definitely wasn't finished with Derek.  
- Jackson, we're leaving - said Lydia, flipped her hair and was gone. That was fast.  
- I need to talk with you - I addressed Derek in a voice that doesn't take no for an answer. He shoot me a "You aren't done talking yet?" glare and I smiled - I'm not doing this because I looove to hear my voice, but because I have something to tell you. Something important - I locked my eyes with his and finally found there some understanding - In private - as if it is possible with werewolves.  
- Isaac, wait - he said to his Beta and just started leaving the house. I huffed.  
- Stiles you can go home - I said shortly, but then decided to check up on the boy - If you're feeling ok that is, because if not, you can wait for me - I smiled warmly at him. I didn't know why, but I wanted to nuzzle my nose into his neck as to reassure him.  
- No, it's ok. I'm a big boy you know, I can drive myself home. See you tomorrow - he smiled and was gone. I huffed again as I got frustrated again.

I was going for the back door, to join Derek somewhere outside, when I glanced at Isaac. He looked… miserable. Sadness was rolling off of him. I thought: why is he doing it, if it hurts him so much? But then I understood. It was some kind of catharsis. His father was no more in Isaac's life. Now he had to not only throw his father's things, but also throw him out of his head and maybe even out of his heart. Though the bastard had been beating Isaac for years, he still was his father… First, Isaac was hurt physically and now he is hurt mentally. When will he not be hurt?  
I moved close to him and squeezed his arm reassuringly.  
- Don't be sorry that you are alive Isaac - I said quietly and left.

I reached Derek after couple of minutes. He was irritated, of course, but it didn't faze me. If he was planning on still not showing any positive feelings towards people, then… Well, he will have to change his plans.  
- You heard? - I motioned the house with my thumb. He just nodded - And this distance is enough for Isaac not to hear us?  
- He's a Beta, I'm an Alpha - I raised my brow at that as if asking "so what?". He huffed - His hearing distance is not as long as mine.  
- Ohh… - I wanted to mock him about his "better, faster, stronger" abilities as an Alpha, but my common sense forbid me from that - Ok, so… - I started fidgeting a little. Why was I fidgeting? I'm not a child anymore - You have to change your attitude - he huffed again.  
- I've heard that before. Was Stiles talking to you?  
- Indeed, he was. But this has nothing to do with Stiles. It has to do with Scott - his heart skipped a beat and I knew I had his attention - Yeah… You see, Scott should be your first Beta, but he doesn't trust you and that's because of his father.  
- His father? - Derek was evidently confused.  
- He had done something to Scott and his mother. They divorced, but Scott still hates him. Now, what it has to do with you. You are the only adult male that tells him what to do…  
- I'm not… - he was agitated.  
- Hear me out - I raised a finger at him - Deaton doesn't count. And yes, you tell him what to do, because you're the Alpha…  
- Who he doesn't listen to… - I smirked at that.  
- Do you want him to listen to you? - I was twisting his arm. He felt silent and I had my answer - Then my dear, you have to change, because how it is right now? It won't do. The way you are treating him, giving orders, not explaining anything… He's imprinting his father on you and that's why he's so rebellious, so angry at you - I almost poked him in the chest - He's a growing teenager, Derek. He's struggling with it and with all the "werewolf stuff". The lack of the male parent is evident. He needs someone to guide him - I looked him in the eye - And that's where you - I pointed a finger at him - should step up. But not as the father figure, no Gods forbid - I shook my head - but as an older brother. An older brother, with whom he can get drunk and know that nothing bad will happen, because this big brother got his back. And yes, I know, you can't get drunk. It was a metaphor - I said, as I saw his scowl - If you want him to trust you, you have to trust him too - I was moving closer to him, very slowly and tentatively, but with caution. Just like you would approach a wounded wild animal, who he in fact was - Do you… - I was treading on thin ice here, I knew that - remember how it was to be a teenager? - he shoot me a glare and I could feel his anger rising, but I just stood there by his side, waiting for his answer, emitting as much soothing feelings as I could. I don't know how much time passed till he finally said:  
- Stupid… I… I was stupid - his voice was quiet, but without anger.  
- Well yes, you can use this adjective to describe a teenager - I smiled warmly - But stupid can also describe a 7 years of self punishment for something you didn't do... - I said seriously.

If then Derek contained his anger, now its flames arose anew. His eyes became red, he started growling and I was sure he's going to wolf out. But I wasn't going to shift. If I did it, it might encourage him and we would surely end up in a fight. And I didn't want that tonight. Tonight was for talking, not fighting.  
The moment I felt him changing, I grabbed his forearm as tight as I could. My long nails digging into his skin. They could leave a scar on a human, but now they were no treat for him. They could only bring him a little pain. A pain, I was hoping could bring him back…  
- Derek… - I whispered.  
He tried to jerk away his hand from my grip, but he couldn't. I must have used my werecat powers without changing, because otherwise I wouldn't be able to keep him in place. He started to feel frustrated. We struggled with each other.  
- Derek no, stop - I was still whispering and we were still struggling.  
It felt like disciplining a naughty but frustrated child. If he was a child, I would have cradled him in my arms till he calmed down. But this is Derek we're talking about. He's more than 20 cm higher than me and… and heavier than me, and packed with all those muscles and he is a fucking werewolf! I am not able to physically overpower him as a human, but mentally… I can make him stop with words. It started with them and will end with them.  
- Derek stop! Do you think Laura would want to see you like this? - I wasn't whispering anymore. My voice was strong and clear. It had to get through to him - Do you think she wanted you to punish yourself for all those years? - I could feel his resistance decrease - No Derek, she didn't want this for you. She was your sister and all that she wanted for you was to be happy… - I wanted to stroke his cheek, but then Derek drooped to his knees and howled. I, must say, was shocked.

The howl was… It was amazing. But not in a positive way. It contained all of Derek's feelings. His rage, hurt, betrayal, remorse, grief, sadness, loneliness, torment, inability, frustration… all of this. All of those feelings he was keeping bottled inside him was now out. I was overwhelmed. I was standing beside him and must looked stupid, because my eyes were as big as plates and my mouth ajar. But I didn't care, and so did Derek. I did what I wanted to do: I slipped my fingers in his hair and pulled his head, so his face was buried in my clothes, nose nudging my belly.  
He was trembling. He was weak. It's good we were alone, so no one could see him like this. The alpha having a meltdown… I started stroking his thick and silky hair, while my other hand ran circles on his back to sooth him. In the end, I was cradling him in my arms just like I wanted. If he just let me, I would shelter him from everything bad. I didn't want him to suffer anymore. I wanted him to be happy…  
My feelings surprised me. I never was so determined to do such thing. Yes, I cared about my parents and close friends, but never openly showed it. This was different though. I was ready to make declarations, which was stupid. I don't make declarations.

After couple of minutes, I gathered my thoughts and started talking again in a quiet and steady voice:  
- So, as I was saying… It would be good, if you started treating Scott as a younger brother and… and the rest of the kids like your friends - I felt him tense - Derek, c'mon, I'm not telling you to share your deepest desires with them - I hoped he recognized sarcasm here - I'm telling you to know them better. Spend some time with them doing normal things, like going to the cinema or bowling. Because though I don't have a pack on my own, I'm pretty sure it will strengthen your bond with them and in the end it will strengthen you. You're going through a pack crisis and need all the help you can get to make it better. So please, listen to someone at least once - I said with force - Because I want to help you. And don't worry, I have no ulterior motives.

It seemed like my words were sinking into his head. After awhile he rose from the ground and motioned towards the house.  
- I'll walk you - he said quietly, but didn't met my eyes. I felt his embarrassment and tried to show him with my emotions, that it's ok, that I don't care. We walked in silence.


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up at 1pm. It was dark in my room, because the curtains were closely shut. It was Saturday. Finally. I thought that week would never end. Saturday meant no work, no students, no people I had to encounter… And then I remembered. I had a meeting to attend to. With very cryptic veterinarian, ever-scowling Alpha, hyperactive kid and ever-appropriate girl. I growled and pressed my face deeper into my favorite pillow.

I forced myself up, to open the curtains and get some light into my room. The sun was shining brightly and made falling snowflakes flicker. It was beautiful. And so peaceful. Like the weather didn't know what has been happening in the woods and the city. Like there were no werewolves, no Kanima and no personal dramas…

I sank into my bed and covered myself tightly with comforter, like it could shield me from everything. I didn't want to get up. I just wanted to sleep away all of that. It was very weird how me and my mother dealt with problems: we just slept them away. When we wake up, we have the solution for the problem or have fresh mind to think the problem trough. Well, I didn't have the solution. I just wanted to sleep and relax.

I was stressed because of last two weeks and this wasn't promising for anyone in my surroundings. Because when I was stressed, I became the worst bitch from the deepest circles of hell. People say that's the way a woman behaves when she's having a period. But little did they know, that's not me. I'm completely opposite. The only time I'm meek, is when I have my period. It's because of the pain that is so fucking hard to stand, that I just want to curl up and wait for it to end.

So back to being stressed. If you haven't caught why I was so stressed, let me explain it to you. First, it's my work. In about six months I'm finishing my PhD studies and I have completely no idea what I will be doing next. I don't know, if I get a job at the University or what. This is the great unknown. Then, connected to my work are students. Students, who are usually too lazy to pay attention to what I'm saying to them during my classes or too stupid to at least cheat properly at my tests. They are insolent and disrespectful and I can't stand the way they carry themselves. Someone once told me, that it might be a sing I'm getting old. Maybe it is, but I always had very conservative opinion on raising children.

Second, people in general. I don't like meeting new people or being in a crowded places. People irritate me. The way they act or lie. I don't trust them. I have a very small circle of friends and that is enough for me. I know them for years and know what to expect from them. It is very hard to become friends with me, but when you finally manage to get through my defenses, you'll know it was worth the effort.  
So having met this bunch of kids and some adults past this week, was too much for me. The fact that they were teenagers wasn't helping. Their ridiculous problems about their love life, fitting into the right clique at school or not having a flawless skin weren't on my list of things to listen to. I was very, very glad that I'm past that time in my life. Although, I never had problems like those above. I simply didn't care about them.

Third, the "werewolf stuff". Can you fucking imagine werewolves exists?! What the hell?! This was un-fucking-believable! If I hadn't experienced it on my own skin, I would never believed it. But it was fucking true and now part of my life. And how it became part of my life? I was just walking in the woods. That's it. Mental note for me: never walk in the woods again. The worst thing about this "werewolf stuff" was… I don't know what. Was it the Alpha Pack? The missing kids? The obvious magic involvement? The dysfunctional pack? The ever-angry Alpha? Or… or maybe something completely else. Oh, you could get a headache just thinking about it!

Forth, me being also a supernatural creature. WTF!? How?! How the fuck was it possible? As far as I knew, my parents were humans. Have it run in the family, but no one was aware of that? Or maybe they knew about that, but no one was talking about it? Because unlike werewolves, you couldn't be bitten to become a werecat. That is why we are so rare. Because it's genetic. And if it was genetic, it has to be on maternal side of my family, because all the women there were strong and independent. Unfortunately most of that side of the family was dead… I hoped it wasn't any indicator.

Stiles once asked me how I change… Well, it's not easy. It's not easy to summon all negative feelings and memories you have. The ones that you try to shove down deep into your subconscious and never again let them emerge. But you do it. You do let them emerge. And you let them fuel you until you are made only of anger and pain. Until you are on the edge. And there, on that edge, you make a decision: whether you enslave them and dominate over them or do you let them enslave you and push you into the abyss...

Derek was surprised I learned control so fast… Seriously, I didn't have to learn control, because that's something I learned a long time ago. The thing I had to learn was how to recognize the feeling I had to control. Because that was not the normally felt anger or pain, it was something more complicated, something more personal, something like another me inside me. Something more primal, aggressive and without inhibitors. Something that can only be called as my Feline. Every time I was connecting with her, with them in fact, I could understand more about them and about myself. That's why I accepted them so quickly. They were me, why wouldn't I accept myself? I wasn't a teenager anymore and those identity crises were past me long time ago. I accept myself exactly the way I am, and if anybody doesn't like that, that's his problem, not mine.

And that's how we got to the fifth. The fifth is my problem with men. Yes, I realized I had problem with men. And what is more surprising, I know why I have this problem. It is because of my character. My character is not easy, I am aware of that, but that's who I am. From unnoticeable grey mouse I was in high school, I changed into an independent woman, who knows what she wants. Is that bad? Precisely, I changed using my not-easy character traits. And men don't like them. They don't like that I'm independent, pride, honest, assertive, introvertic, responsible, critic, mean, sarcastic, easy-angered, irritable. They don't approve that I don't: cook, wear high heels, hate: chores and those elegant jackets, usually: swear a lot and have black sense of humor. But most and foremost: I. Am. Independent. No one will tell me what to do. There are people, whose opinion I will consider, like my parents, but I will definitely not be told by a man. No, and NO. I will not be submissive. And men sure like submissive women. They need to feel this power over a woman, because that's how it was since the beginning of the mankind. The man was always first, and then, after him was a woman. Oh my god! How do I hate it! Yes, you can call me a feminist, but a healthy one. I'm not saying men should go into labor, but should help women during pregnancy and after, rising the child. Because hellooo, it takes two sides to make a child, and most men forgot about that…

I opened my eye and checked the time. It was 3pm. Whaaat?! I must have fallen asleep during my thinking. Not good, not good. I jumped out of bed, turned on my laptop to play some powering music and ran to the bathroom. As I got back, Oscar (my roommates' dog) was lying unceremoniously in my bed. I rolled my eyes, scratched him behind his ear and played remixes of Nine Inch Nails. Oh, I was falling in love with NIN…

* * *

I was late, and driving like crazy. Late because I had to eat breakfast. And having 30 minutes to do all the things you do in the morning is definitely not enough. Driving like crazy, because 15 minutes to get to the clinic and park your car is also not enough in this city. So it was around 4pm. when I stormed into the reception and then to the exam room. My boots were leaving wet track of melting snow, coat and scarf in total disarray and my hair everywhere. All of them looked at me: Derek, Isaac, Scott, Stiles, Deaton, Lydia and Jackson. I squinted at them. There was too many of them. Then I realized, I should say something.

- Sorry. I overslept - I took off my coat.  
- It's four - Stiles pointed out.  
- I'm a cat - I grinned.  
- How did you… - Isaac, as always quite observant.  
- Mountain Ash? - I figured - It doesn't affect me.  
- And what does affect you?  
- You don't want to know… - I grinned, 'coz couldn't stop myself.  
- I was suggesting Stiles, that he should learn concentration… - Deaton spoke.  
- Oh, that's good - I nodded.  
- With you - he raised his eyebrows. I believe, I made a stupid face, because that dumbfounded me.  
- I… - I couldn't find words for a second - Why do you think he should learn that with me?  
- Do you see here more appropriate candidates? - well he had a point, but me? Me?! - He needs someone composed and serious. And patient, like you - I almost felt praised.  
- She, patient? - Jackson snorted. I growled.  
- She is - Deaton assured. I took a deep inhale, looked at Stiles, who was also disoriented like me and exhaled.  
- Ok - I finally said - but we have to do our best - I looked at Stiles again - You understand that? No fooling around - I was very serious.  
- Yeah… - he scratched his head nervously - I mean, if he's going to teach me runes…  
- Wait! What? - I shouted. And I shout very loud and unpleasantly. They scowled - What. The. Fuck. Deaton?! Are you seriously thinking about teaching him how to use runes?  
- Yes - he answered calmly - Is there something wrong with that? - I snorted.  
- Something wrong? This is no child's play. Are you sure he can handle this? - I was skeptic, sorry Stiles.  
- It seems like you don't have faith in him… - Deaton said.  
- It's not that I don't have faith in him, it's that I think he doesn't have faith in himself - I explained.  
- Nice… - disappointment was rolling off of Stiles - You know, not everyone is were-something and have super abilities. Why can't I learn runes? - he was angry now. I felt bad for making him angry, but he didn't understand…  
- Stiles… - I moved closer to him - It's not that… To me… you are like a younger brother I never had - I said quietly - I care about you and I don't want anything bad happen to you… - his eyes became huge, his mouth slightly open, just like I liked it - And runes… Runes could be dangerous…  
- That is why you should teach him the basics - Deaton reasoned with me.  
- Help me learn. Please, Agnes… - he was making the puppy eyes and fuck it, I couldn't resist them - You said, we have to learn how to protect ourselves and the ones we care about, so let me do it - oh, he was throwing my own words at me now, little bastard… I huffed.  
- Ok. I'll do it - Stiles almost jumped in happiness - but if we're talking about runes, we have to do more than just "our best", got it Stiles? - I said decisively.  
- Yes - he was determined. This was not the start of the year I was looking forward…  
- And what about Lydia? - just hit me with everything you got and get over with it already.  
- I gave her some books to read - oh for fuck's sake! Could he just for once stop being so cryptic?!  
- Like? Could you be more specific with your statements? Or is it a punishment for me being late? - I was getting aggravated. And it wasn't good thing to come. Everyone except Derek smirked.  
- Herbs, potions. I was told that one of things Lydia is very good at is chemistry, and brewing potions is about mixing right substances together. So I thought this should be appropriate for her - he was very pleased saying that.  
- Alchemy… - was my first thought.  
- That's magic, Agnes - Stiles cut in.  
- No, Stiles. Alchemy is knowledge. It's 90% knowledge, including chemistry and 10% magic. And Lydia's got that 10%.  
- Why do you…  
- What about… - I didn't let Stiles finish his sentence, but was not quite sure how to ask next question - her other abilities? - everyone looked at me suspiciously - I'm talking about the fact that Peter used her to come back from the dead. Was she prone to his manipulations because of the bite? Or because of something else? - it was bugging me for a while now and I had to know the answer.  
- You are very meticulous - Deaton smiled.  
- Yeah, well… It will be the death of me someday, but there are things I just have to know.  
- But unfortunately, I don't know the answer to your question - he smiled sadly. I scowled.  
- That's not the answer I was expecting…  
- I don't have all the answers Agnes. I just point the directions.  
- Which in this case are?  
- Herbs and potions - he answered patiently. And that seemed to end the discussion. Well, I wasn't satisfied. I wanted more. But knew, that now I won't get anything more. And then, something popped into my mind:  
- Is there any way to boost our already enhanced sense of smell? - Deaton looked at me suspiciously.  
- What for?  
- I… We were looking for Alphas one day and I lost track of them. I was wondering, if you know something that might help?  
- If alphas doesn't want you to find them, you won't. Even using boosts - I was getting tired. And this conversation led nowhere.  
- Ok - I said resigned. And looked at them. Deaton was explaining Scott what to do with the animals under his care. Stiles was visibly bored and started playing on his phone. Lydia was flipping through the books Deaton gave her. Jackson inspecting his nails, leaning against the wall. Isaac was bored too, but was listening to Deaton instructions. Derek approached me. Quite close. It was weird. He leaned and whispered to my ear:  
- About what you said yesterday… - his voice was husky, he smelled like man&forest and he was warm… I caught myself on wanting to bury myself in him… I was tired. Very tired.  
- I said a lot of things - I looked into his eyes, the green forest, I wanted to be in it.  
- Bowling.  
- What with it? - I raised my eyebrow at him and he raised his two. Then, understanding came to me - Oh, you want me to say about it? - he just nodded - Why won't you do it yourself? - he growled right into my ear. It vibrated inside my whole body. I growled lowly, but not in anger - Hey, do you know a bowling place open late in the evening? - I said casually.  
- I happen to know - I was surprised, it was Lydia who answered.  
- Is it open tomorrow at… - Derek was looking at me questionably. Was he silently asking me when I have time? That was unbelievable…  
- At six? - I finished his question and looked at Lydia. She measured us and nodded.  
- Yes, it is. Are you planning to bowl tomorrow? - She asked not looking at us, but I felt her interest and everybody else.  
- Actually, I was wondering if we all could go? You know, spend some time not planning tactics for upcoming war - I felt Derek tense beside me. I lightly brushed his hand with my fingers and felt him loosing up a little.  
- Did I hear bowling? - Scott popped in his big head, smiling.  
- Don't start it McCall - it was Jackson. I almost forgot he was here - Last time we played, it wasn't daisies and rainbows for you - he smiled menacingly.  
- Maybe it's time for a re-mach - Scott challenged him.  
- Remember this when you lose: you asked for it - Jackson pointed finger at him. I rolled my eyes.  
- I just wanted to play, not compete - I complained.  
- To late - Lydia said cheerfully - So, tomorrow at six, at Prominent - she set up the meeting quickly.  
- Prominent?  
- It's the name of the club, McCall - Jackson rolled his eyes and was leaving with Lydia.  
- Well, that went smooth… - I summarized. Stiles and Isaac looked at me weirdly.  
- Man, I'm beat - Scott yawned - but anyone want to grab a burger?  
- Oh Scotty, you know what I need - Stiles had his arm around Scott's shoulders - Burger and curly fries - Stiles grinned. Isaac almost whimpered and looked pleasingly at Derek.  
- Go. Don't do anything stupid - of course he had to said that second part…

* * *

Kids were gone and Deaton was closing his clinic for today. As me and Derek were walking towards our cars, I could feel Deaton's eyes on us. I also could feel contentment and worry coming off of him.

- You were too embarrassed to propose bowling on your own, weren't you? - I mocked Derek, but was smiling warmly at him. He just scowled, but wasn't angry - Yeah, I thought so - I smiled again, because vision of my bed was making me happy. I wasn't thinking when moved and pecked him on the cheek, his stubble scratching my lips - Till tomorrow Derek.


	9. Chapter 9

Well, the bowling wasn't such a bad idea, I must say. The kids obviously enjoyed themselves and acted like they forgot for a moment about all that shit that was happening to them. The competition between Scott and Jackson wasn't envious, but rather encouraging. It was positive and I had a feeling Derek also felt it like just a play between young Betas.

Speaking of Derek. He wasn't bouncing on all four legs from happiness, but I felt he was content. He felt right. It was about frigging time. Peter was Peter. He smirked all the time and made dirty jokes. And I passed the buck. I also joked dirty, very dirty. And with English black humor. O, this was fun. But I had a feeling only for me and Peter, because we understood each other. Derek was rolling his eyes at us and the kids had funny, horror and disgusted expressions on their faces.

As for me and bowling, well… I hate it. I honestly hate it. I tried bowling once and I was done with it. Maybe it was because I haven't scored for once. Today though, was different. I scored every time. Which was weird for me, but I think it was because of my werecat abilities.

Somewhere in the middle of our game Stiles sat beside me.  
- Soo, I was thinking about how we could start our sessions… - I felt his enthusiasm, but also a little of insecurity. I "Mhmm" him, to let him know I was listening - And I went to an enormous amount of websites about ADHD, because it's the problem, you know, and… Do you know, that guy who described this illness…  
- Stiles - I haven't risen my voice at him, but he had to stop babbling. I looked him in the eye and saw there an endless see of energy, which I had to slay. It was a difficult task - Just buy a book about yoga. About the basics and philosophy of it.  
- Yoga?! - he almost choked on that word - Are you kidding me? I'm not some old dude, who can levitate and say sentences backward!  
- Hmm, haven't you just described Master Yoda? - I looked suspiciously at him.  
- Dude, you totally did - Jackson mocked. I would never thought he watched Star Wars.  
- So, since you are not a Jedi or any character from Harry Potter… And you are not going to be. You have to buy a book about yoga and read it - I had to point that, because Stiles started fidgeting - Only after that I'm going to teach you anything - I started to get up.  
- I hate you. I so hate you.  
- No, you don't - I said with a smile, because I knew he was lying - Oh, and one more thing. Do not buy an e-book. Buy a paper version - I smiled like Cheshire Cat.

I was getting my bowling ball, when I heard radio playing „Smooth" by Carlos Santana and I couldn't stop myself. I put down the ball and started to move my hips. I tried to move them in vertical eight, but this song is too sensual, so I started to move my hips like in salsa. I added hands and then it started to look more like tribal. I made body wave with floreo and when percussion got louder I accented it with hip bumps and then made a turn with it. Every beat of the drums was mirrored by my hips and honestly, I think it looked very good and "juicy" as one of the tribal teachers said.

When Santana had his guitar solo, I made isolations with my shoulder joints, my hands not really moving. I did some rotations (looking like from ballet), my hair flying in the air. I had flat boots, no heels, so my steps were smooth and quiet - you could only hear music, not me. Oh, maybe a little of me, because I was singing along with Rob Thomas. Have I said, that I loooved this song? When he sang: "You feel the turning of the world so soft and slow, turning you round and round" I made ribcage rotation, which means I made a circle with my breasts, using muscles between my scapula to move them up, and my upper abdominal muscles to move them down. Then I did a move called camel walk and finished it with a torso twist, also known as matrix. When I wasn't doing any moves from tribal (or my variations of them), I just moved like in salsa, staying in place or moving in a small circle. I ended with some more turns and accents with my hips, breasts, arms and hands.

When I started to dance, I lost interest in people I was with. There was only music and me. I moved the way I felt and the way I wanted. It was so liberating, so good. When the song ended, I returned from my cloud nine and what I saw and felt was extraordinary.

I felt arousal coming from everyone, even Lydia. Scott's eyes were big in amusement and he had this stupid look on his face. I can't describe this look, but it's so Scott-like. Jackson probably realized he was acting like everyone else, then snorted and composed himself. Isaac had the same look, like the one when we first met - like he was seeing something for the first time. Peter was all lust. Damn, he needed to get laid. Stiles of course was full of lust too, but there was more in those big brown eyes. It felt like… admiration? Oh Gods, I hoped he wasn't falling for me…

The last person I focused my attention at was Derek. His reaction knocked me off my feet. Mentally. His heart was beating fast and he was desperately trying to slow it down, but it was in vain. His eyes were glued to my face. I wonder, if during my dance they were roaming over my body… Ok, I'll say it simply: I felt his desire. Lust, I could deal, because it was strictly physical, but desire was about something more. Something I didn't want to handle right now. Something I couldn't handle right now. I… No. I'm not going there. I blinked to get out of that maze.

I took the ball, inhaled deeply, cleared my mind, exhaled and put it in motion. My effectiveness was one hundred percent. I looked at the scoring board and smiled.

- It looks like we have a match drawn.  
- What? No way! - Jackson was not content with the final score - We have to keep playing - I raised my brows at him.  
- If you want… But without me - I started to grab my things - I have work tomorrow. And you have school - I pointed out.  
- She's right, go home - Derek surprised me. Lately, I was constantly amazed by him. I looked suspiciously at him - What? I have something on my face? - he was starting to get irritated.  
- Mhm - I nodded seriously - Your stubble - I smiled to soothe him, but wiggled my eyebrows playfully. That eased him.

I put my coat over long sleeved cotton dress I was wearing, bag on my shoulder, scarf hanging loose from my neck, and motioned Stiles and Scott to go home and give me a lift. I said "Hi kids" to the kids and "Hi guys" to the guys. Peter and Derek followed me with their gaze. I heard Peter spoke "Told you so" and Derek's "Shut up" in response. I didn't like Peter's observations, but my curiosity wanted to be filled with what he knew. Badly.

* * *

Following weeks were blissfully not abounding in any werewolf stuff. The exam session was close and I spent a lot of time grading student's work, preparing their exams and giving final marks. On the weekends I went to the theater or met with my friends in pubs or went dancing. I haven't heard from Derek or any of his pack, except for Stiles, who mailed me information about the book, I made him buy. He had chosen good. We set the date and time of our first meeting during a phone call.

- Does it have to be so late? My dad will be home then.  
- I don't care Stiles. And it's not like I'm afraid of meeting your dad.  
- You should.  
- Really? Because he's the sheriff? - I mocked him - That doesn't impress me Stiles - he huffed.  
- Ok, but don't say I haven't warn you - I smirked.  
- No worries - I assured him - See you tomorrow.  
- Yeah, bye.

I felt a little bad for not getting in any contact with Derek, but the phone line has two sides, right? If he wanted to contact with me, then he would. And it's not that I wasn't wandering around town at night, trying to catch Erica's, Boyd's or this Alpha's scent…

* * *

I parked my car in front of Stiles' house. His jeep was in the driveway. The minute I rang the bell, I heard Stiles' rabbit heartbeat. The sound was music to my ears. Then his fast steps and intoxicating scent. Oh, the boy was eager to get this started. When he opened the door, he stared at me with his big brown eyes. I tilted my head to the left and squinted at him. He was wearing tight black jeans, white t-shirt and ever-present plaid shirt. Then, I raised my brow at him.

- Why do you look like a girl from my class, while you have ten years more? - I smirked, but when realized he complimented me there was a full grin on my face.  
- Hi to you too, Stiles - I said passing him - And thanks for the compliment - I leaned and whispered from behind him. I didn't have to look at his face to know it was all red. Content with that, after taking off my boots, I went to his room. I made myself comfortable on his bed, which meant sitting cross-legged (for now) - So, have you read the book? - I made grabby hands, so he would give me said book.  
- Yeah - Stiles handed me the book and sat in his computer chair. I started going through the book - You haven't read it? - there was surprise in his voice. I smiled at him.  
- No, I haven't. I used to do yoga in high school, then had a long break and started it again four years ago, but I haven't actually read a book about it.  
- Wow, you're into it - his right knee started nervously going up and down. I raised my eyebrow at that.  
- You nervous? - he snorted.  
- Nah, of course not - Stiles waved his hand at me and I raised both my brows at that silently saying "stop shitting me, I know you're lying" - Jesus! You're like Derek, you know that? - he flailed his hands - Yes, I'm nervous, are you happy? - thinking about that… on one hand yes, but on the other, no.  
- Why are you nervous? - I asked calmly. He looked at me like it was the weirdest question ever asked. I patiently waited for his answer.  
- I… You know… - he was starting to blush. Oh, sweet boy…  
- No Stiles, I honestly don't know - I got up from the bed and went to open the window. Stiles needed fresh air. Well, if you can call it fresh air in this city… - So? - I stood beside him and crossed my arms at my chest, demanding the answer. He took a deep breath and finally said.  
- It's you. You make me nervous - that surprised me. As I recall, I was nice to him so far.  
- How come? I'm trying to be nice to you. Is that a bad thing? - Stiles opened his mouth, then closed them, then again… He looked like a fish taken from the water.  
- That's the point! I… Look, the last nice female who was here was my mother, because Lydia doesn't count… - I felt his sadness and embarrassment.  
- So… either all the girls that have been here were bad or… you haven't had any girls here - I said playfully.  
- What do you think Sherlock? - oh, he started using sarcasm, which meant he was in offence. Realization kicked me in the ass.  
- You like me Stiles? - I asked warily.  
- Have you seen yourself in the mirror?! - he finally looked at me and I had to kill the answer "yeah, when I was getting dressed today" - You look like sixteen, you have this blue eyes and those long hair, that shine like golden. You act like an adult, but in the same time you don't, you move like that cat you say you are and, and…  
- And what Stiles? - I whispered taken aback by his words.  
- And you make my panic attacks go away… - well, that was it, I couldn't help myself. I put my arms around Stiles' shoulders and hugged him. I gently ran my hand through his buzz cut and kissed the top of his head. He felt relaxed, but I knew if I hold him any longer, he might get aroused. And I didn't want that. At least not now…  
- How about we make a deal Stiles? You stop thinking about this things, we finally get to our session and as a reward I'll dance for you. Hmm? How does it sound? - I let go of him and stepped back to sit on his bed.  
- You would do that? - there was disbelieve in his voice.  
- Yes. But only after you concentrate on the session - I said firmly.  
- Ok, ok - he raised his hands like in surrender - So, how do we start?  
- For today, you should choose the music - he looked at me stupidly - I don't like silence, but I think you wouldn't understand the music I might pick. It should be something that makes you relax - Stiles got up from his chair and went to the shelves on the other side of his room. He rummaged through them and came with a CD. Oh, I liked this boy even more. In the era of MP3's, he still listened to the CD's. He put it in his stereo and pressed play. The music was strange at first, it sounded like jazz, but had the 70's climate. I looked questioningly at Stiles.  
- It's… My mom used to listen this… I kinda grew up with it.  
- Mhm, I understand - I smiled - Sit somewhere… - I looked around his room - Sit by the window. Close it, if it's cold for you, but not completely. You need fresh air.  
- Ok… - Stiles sat indian-style.  
- Lean back against the wall, straight back, shoulders down, your chest open. It's best to put your palms up on your knees. Do you feel comfortable?  
- Yeah… I guess - I took him in. He looked fine.  
- Ok - I pulled sleeves of my sweater up - Have you heard about the yogin breath? - I pulled out my notes from my bag - The one that takes three steps. Differently called the full breath. It's used to fight fears - I looked at him carefully. He should know this technique because of his panic attacks.  
- I've heard about it. They even wanted me to learn it, but I was too impatient - he smiled guilty.  
- What is delayed is not lost - I smiled at him - If you want to learn runes, you have to first learn this. I hope it motivates you.

I started to read to him how he should do the inhales and exhales. Then told him to do it. Yeah, no wonder he never learned this. He was a hopeless case. His inhales were too shallow, he couldn't hold his breath long enough and he exhaled immediately.

I sat in front of him and started breathing with him. He was trying, I knew he was, but it was still no good. I took his hand and put it on my abdomen. Told him to feel my breath. I inhaled deeply and slowly through my nose, let the oxygen fill my lungs. My shoulders rose, my ribcage got bigger and my diaphragm bulged my belly. I told Stiles to observe and remember all of this. I squeezed his hand when the inhale ended, then again when I held my breath to my limits and started to slowly exhale, also through my nose. I repeated it couple of times and then told him to do it on his own. He did better this time.

- Ok Stiles - I got up and placed myself again on his bed (this time horizontal position) - We have time, so now for about a hour you're going to practice just breathing, ok? Don't think about anything else. Just concentrate on this breathing.  
- Ok… but what are you going to do? - I tapped the book with my fingernail - Oh, yeah, of course. You're gonna read - I smiled.  
- Just concentrate on breathing Stiles - I was pleasantly surprised, when he obeyed. I started reading the book. After couple of minutes I stopped - Hey, I'm gonna read you something. Don't stop breathing and listen. „Yoga means mastery in all areas of external activity…" - I read firmly - "…including sex…" - I smirked at that and knew that it had interested Stiles - "…sexual desire should be sublimated and be converted into spiritual energy that allows meditation and other yoga exercises…". You hear it? Is should be your mantra: sublimate and convert - he looked at me wide-eyed.

Then I started reading to myself again, but when I found something interesting and worth pointing out, I read it aloud. "Yoga means equanimity. Yoga therapy calms the mind through relaxation of stress stimuli. (…) Practicing yoga was found to be very helpful in dealing with emotional conflicts and neurotic tendencies. Yoga lowers test timidity scores, as well as significantly reduces the total neuroticism, anxiety and hostility. You can also achieve greater emotional balance. It also noted an overall increase in memory" (Yeah, they should teach yoga in high school. It would be good for all those boys fueled by hormones - I had to comment). Stiles looked at me accusingly. (Look at it from this perspective Stiles: after this yoga course with me, you will be a complete different person. You'll be less stressed, less nervous, more calm and composed, patient, in better physical fitness and less sexually frustrated)(I'm sixteen! I'm supposed to be fueled with hormones! I'm supposed to have sex as many times as rabbits have!). I growled at him. (Do you think every boy and girl in your school is having sex? No, believe me they don't)(You can't now that)(Believe me, I can know that). I looked hard at him and he looked at me like a stubborn child. Our starring contest was interrupted by Stiles' dad parking his car in the driveway.

- It's my dad - Stiles was nervous again.  
- Yeah, I assumed - the boy got up from the floor - Sit down Stiles - I said with a force. He looked at me wide-eyed, but obeyed - I suppose he's observant, since he's the sheriff, but if we play it cool, he won't notice anything suspicious. Just keep practicing breathing and I'll do the talking - after heavy steps approaching Stiles' room, we heard a knock.  
- Stiles?  
- Yeah dad, come in - Stiles managed to sound casual.  
- There's a car parked… - sheriff stopped in mid-sentence and I felt that he was shocked. I was lying on my belly on Stiles' bed, my calves in the air, chin on my palms and I was looking at sheriff in interest. I overcame my hatred for the police and got up from the bed.  
- Hello sheriff - I smiled and held out my hand - I'm Agnes, Stiles' friend.  
- John - he shook my hand firmly - Sorry for asking, but Stiles never mentioned a friend like you - he looked suspiciously at me, though I felt only concern coming off of him. I smiled.  
- I'm a new friend. We met through a mutual friend - I explained, which resulted in John raising his eyebrow.  
- No no no - Stiles started to interrupt - I don't think it's a good idea… - he looked at me meaningfully.  
- You don't think knowing doctor Deaton is a good idea? - I asked with fake surprise. He looked at me dumbfounded.  
- You know Alan? - John asked.  
- Well yes. He is a veterinarian, isn't he? - I spread my hands - I consult with him about my cat - I said it like it was an obvious obviousness.  
- Oh… ok - sheriff felt a little crestfallen - So, the car in front…  
- Is mine, yes - I smiled - And if you want to check the plates… - now I grinned - it's not stolen.  
- Dad! - Stiles probably thought, I sniffed this intention on his father.  
- It's ok Stiles - I raised my hand in his direction - Your father is just concerned - I smiled at John to show him I don't hold any grunge against him - You will find only speeding tickets in my police records.  
- And what are you doing with my underage son this late at night?  
- Ok, you know what? - Stiles' patience reached its limits - That is completely enough dad! - he flailed his hands - I think you just embarrassed me for the next millennium! - oh, the boy had a talent to exaggerate. I had to kill a laugh inside me.  
- I'm learning him how to properly breathe. It's an introduction to yoga exercising, which will help him overcome stress and anxiety. It also will benefit in his ability to focus and physical stamina.  
- Really? - sheriff was full of doubt.  
- Really - I reached for the book I was reading - This is medically proven. Read this book of you want, but after we're finished - sheriff seemed more convinced this time - Don't worry, it's not any kind of cult. We're not going to make bloody sacrifices - I said like it would be the stupidest idea ever. He looked at me thoroughly: hair loose, long beige and orange sweater, brown/grey jeans, brown socks. Normal girl. His son's friend. John sighed.  
- I think, there's nothing I can help you here - John was almost in the hall - Just… - he squinted at us and I had to smile, because I felt what he wanted to say.  
- We'll behave - I assured him. Stiles was incredibly shocked, but silent.  
- Yeah - with that sheriff finally closed the door.  
- Oh my god - Stiles let out his breath and words - Can we just forget about this bizarre conversation with my dad? Or better, kill me now, so I wouldn't have to worry about this happening again.  
- Stiles… Your father is just concerned. You don't have to be embarrassed because of that. In fact, you will find it to be more irritating than embarrassing, when you get older.  
- There is that possibility? That I'll stop being embarrassed? - he asked curiously. I smiled.  
- Yes. When you're older, it's usually quite difficult to get embarrassed. Can we go back to our session? We are, like in the middle of it and I don't want to piss off your dad, staying too long.  
- Told you! - my answer was a snort and roll of my eyes.  
- Come here - I said maybe too harsh - The exercises needs to be done in a specific order - I showed him this fragment of the book - You can practice in the morning or evening, morning is better, but since I'm not a morning person, you are going to do it in the evening.  
- Hey, who is doing the yoga? Me or you? - Stiles started to rebel. I glared at him.  
- You won't do any exercise without me - I challenged him.  
- I won't? - he unknowingly cached the bait - Watch me - he took the book from my hand and riffled to the pages with actual exercises. He started with the first one. The easiest one. And screwed it, of course. He just had to lean back a little with his back straight and hands above the head. And inhale. But the moment he started to lean, his spine crackled and he did an exhale.  
- You forgot to breathe - I said with a disapproving look on my face.  
- I am breathing - he went to the second exercise.  
- Not the way you should - he leaned forward and tried to put his palms flat on the floor. His head wasn't anywhere near his knees, and they were bent. I looked at his miserable attempts and screamed in my head: Kali, please take him as a sacrifice and spare me this desecration! - Here, let me help you - I said with false kindness. I put my hands on his back and used force to bent him lower.  
- Stop! It hurts - he immediately said, but I held him down like that to prove my point.  
- It will. Because you're doing it wrong - I growled - That is why I said, you won't do any exercise without me. Do you understand now?  
- Yes! Jesus, yes. Agnes, please… - he pleaded. Oh, I must say I really liked when he pleaded…  
- I'm sorry Stiles, but you are very stubborn - I helped him straighten up - Does it hurt much? - there was real concern in my voice.  
- No, not anymore - I looked in his eyes. He really was fine.  
- Your tendons are not stretched. That's why it hurts. And that's why you weren't able to do the exercises - I explained.  
- But I play lacrosse! We do exercise there, you know - he argued.  
- But obviously you do more strength training than stretching.  
- Ok Yoda - he signed - Show me.  
- I may be small, but definitely not green - I joked and took the position. I heard him say "Yeah, you're definitely not green" under his breath.

I stood straight, my hands loose along my body. Then I moved them up to my chest, like to a prayer and said "om rh ma". I moved them above my head, stretching all my body. I started an inhale and in the same time leaned back. Nothing cracked in my spine. Then I leaned forward, still stretched out as far as I could. My palms flat on the floor, knees straight, head touching them. I felt very pleasurable pull in my muscles and tendons, which meant they were working. I exhaled deeply and slowly. When I looked at the boy he was wide-eyed. I raised my brow at him.

- I hope you were watching carefully?  
- Oh definitely - he had dreamy look on his face. I had to smack him in the head.  
- Stiles… - I warned him.  
- Sorry, sorry - he said ashamed - Could you please show me the rest?  
- No - I crossed my arms at my chest - Unless you do this exercise right - It motivated him somehow. I showed him how to do the rest, like he asked. Gave him some hints and corrected him, when he was doing something wrong. By the time we ended, Stiles was flushed from physical effort, his heart was hammering and breath ragged. This is going to be a real road through hell. For me. And for him. I pulled a face to my thoughts - Ok, we'll finish for today.  
- Oh, thank god! I thought we're never going to stop! - Stiles thrown himself on his bed. His limbs everywhere - Like you would make me to do this even in my sleep - his head shot up from bed - You're not going to make me exercise in my sleep, are you? - he made puppy eyes. I wanted to burst out laughing.  
- Hmm - I kept a poker face - Interesting idea.  
- No, no. God please, no. Don't do this to me - he was on his knees, though still on the bed, but my mind was producing different images of Stiles… on his knees… pleading… I licked my lips and smiled like he was my prey ready to play with.  
- Are you referring to me as your God? - I moved to the bed, but kept small distance between us. He was speechless. His big brown eyes blown and full of emotions. We held our gaze for some time. I was surprised he didn't look away. But when I felt his resolve melting, I smiled and turned away, heading for his computer.  
- What are you doing? - his voice was faint, like he was afraid to use it. I didn't answer him, until I found the song I was looking for on YouTube.  
- I promised you a dance, haven't I? - I turned to him with questioning look - Don't you want it Stiles?  
- No! Fuck. Yes! Yes I want it - he was at word loss, which I never thought is possible for him.

I smiled and played the song. It was slow and had spanish atmosphere, since it was sang in Spanish. I did a lot of floreos and move called wrap around, because they were from flamenco and fitted here perfectly. I moved around Stiles' bed, so he wouldn't became a stone or got a contraction.

I could feel not only his eyes on me, but actually all of his attention. I wish, I could make him focus like that on other things. Like subjects at school or when someone was saying something important to him. I haven't made the dance sensual, because I didn't want Stiles to got aroused. I just wanted to present him with something pleasing to the eye. I finished with arms undulations and floreo exactly in front of the bed. In opposite to him I wasn't tired, my heartbeat steady, breath only slightly faster than usual.

- Come here - I moved my index finger at him. He obeyed instantly. I grabbed him lightly by the chin - You are going to practice every day for the following week. Breathing and the exercises. In the evenings. And you are going to do it earnestly, yes? - I looked deep into his eyes and he nodded - Because if not… I am going to know that. I will be checking up on you - with that, I turned his face left and gave his cheek a kiss. Then moved away from him, to grab my things and be ready to go home. When Stiles finally got from his maze, he didn't know what to do with himself. He was fidgeting like a small child. I grabbed his hands and steadied him - Stop doing that - I hissed - If you don't want your dad to suspect anything.  
- Sorry…  
- Go to sleep Stiles. Your mind and body are tired - I said with normal voice.  
- Yeah… - we got downstairs. I was surprised his father was still up.  
- It was good meeting you sheriff - he even got up and shook my hand - Though, I apologize for staying this long - I smiled a little - But Stiles is a stubborn boy to teach - that earned me a snort from John.  
- You don't have to tell me that…  
- Dad! - Stiles might be sleepy, but he definitely was defending himself. I laughed.  
- Good night - I said finally and left their house.


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Next chapter. Ekhm, it took me some time and it was the most difficult chapter to write. There is some lemon, between Agnes and Stiles - if you don't like it, don't read it. It's getting a little dark, because we get to know what Agnes wants or maybe, it is what her Feline wants...

* * *

There was a reason why I gave Stiles all week without me. I assumed a week would be enough for me and my ex to meet.

I was right. Three days after my first session with Stiles, I met with Michael. We fucked. Oh, I needed it. I always was sexually insatiable, but since I found out I'm a werecat my libido went through the roof. It wasn't heat. I just wanted to fuck to satisfy my body, not find a mate and produce cubs with him. Gods know, I don't need any mate.

So, we met and we fucked. I almost forgot why we broke up, but he reminded me that immediately when I opened the front door: So, you called to give me my birthday present? True, his birthday were in less than a week, but of course it wasn't the reason. I just snorted at his question.

He was very thin, as always. There were some muscles on him, he played soccer after all, but still. His dark hair, green eyes and stubble was what I liked about him the most. He was younger than me by two years. When I thought about it, I realized that except two first boys in high school, the rest of my boyfriends (well, the official ones) were younger than me. Do I have a kink for younger boys…? I didn't want to know the answer to that.

As a bonus to the sex, I got an invitation to Michael's birthday party. I said I would come and said goodbye to him. You might think I'm a heartless bitch (smirk), but I told you I have very low tolerance to men these days. It was this low tolerance.

* * *

I wasn't as busy at work as I was couple of weeks ago, so I could chill a little. My friend was going to the hospital for an operation, so I was free of worrying I would do something stupid, like punch him in the face or kiss him, both in the middle of the University hall. I will not see him for at least two months. Everything was quite good. I somehow managed to put my mind at ease…

I was monitoring Stiles' progress from safe distance. At first day, I just listened to him. He was trying, but his breathing was still screwed. I sighed and send him a text: Breathing! Then started my car and returned home. The second day, I observed him outside his window and then wrote him an e-mail pointing things he made wrong and things he finally got right. His feedback said I'm a total creep, just like Derek and that next time I should just get inside.

So, the third day, I came in (through his window) and sat on the windowsill. Though I was in no danger, I wanted to be sure, I could flee anytime I wanted. Stiles just rolled his eyes and got to exercises. He was doing better, although he still couldn't put his hands flat on the floor. But I believe, three days is not enough for your tendons to get stretched enough after sixteen years. I praised him after he finished, which earned me a big smile. Yep, it was time to flee. I said quick bye and was gone.

The next day, he wasn't at home, so I decided to take a ride through the city.  
It was late and the traffic was lazy. I drove the streets, recalled the places I've visited, people I've met. Nine years in this city… Everything felt so familiar, but at the same time, everything was new. It was because of my were-senses. I saw more things, things I haven't noticed before. Smelled a lot more scents, which I wasn't so sure was a good thing, because sometimes this city stank. I also caught some unfamiliar and weird scents, but drove away from them as fast as I could. Tonight I wasn't in the mood to deal with them.

When I returned to Stiles' house, it was still empty. I got worried a little and texted him:

To Stiles:  
Have you practiced today?

From Stiles:  
Yes mom lol are you creepin' outside my window again?

To Stiles:  
No. Birds said you're not at home ;

From Stiles:  
what birds?! Scott doesn't know anything

I smirked at that. If he was with Scott, it was ok. I could go home.

To Stiles:  
; bye Stiles

* * *

The following day, Stiles asked me to come in and after debating with myself I said yes, but assured him it was not our next session. I kept an eye on him while he practiced, and read our guidance book about yoga. I restrained myself from any comments or flirtation. I just praised him and pointed his mistakes when necessary.

The sixth day I went to Stiles, his father was at home. If his police car was any indicator. I drove away and haven't returned.  
So, everything seemed to be good. But when everything is good, something has to get screwed, so the universe equilibrium is untouched. The screwing part comes the seventh day…

I knew it was a little late for Stiles' exercising, but I thought it wasn't too late. When I drove past his house, I saw no police car - his father was at work. I parked my car in a distance, then walked slowly towards the house.

I could hear Stiles' fast heartbeat and ragged breath. I got angry. It was a week and he still didn't know how to breath properly?! Oh, I'm gonna make him cry for wasting my time… Then other things were released to me. Stiles was moaning and I felt his arousal. Fuck! He was masturbating while I stood there under his window dumbfounded. He started some time ago, but his orgasm haven't built yet.

Oh my god, I never thought I would be able to feel things like that. But when Stiles whispered "Agnes", I definitely felt it between my legs. When I realized what I was doing, I was already in his room, gripping the hand which he used to masturbate.

- Stop - I ordered him. At first Stiles was so shocked, he was motionless, but then his embarrassment kicked in and he got flushed all over his face. He wanted to scramble to his feet and run away - Don't move! - I said in harsh words - Don't fucking move… - then it was a whisper, because I didn't trust my voice. I started to stroke his wrist and his panic seemed to subside a little.

- Agnes, what… - he wasn't able to finish his sentence, because I covered his mouth with my palm.

- Don't speak… Unless I tell you to. If you disobey Stiles, I'm gonna put your sock into your mouth. I can promise you that. Do you understand? - I looked hard into his blown eyes, they were so dilated. I could see myself in them. My eyes were dark and filled with lust. Stiles nodded in understanding and I moved my hand away - When is your dad coming back?

- He… he's got a night shift, s… so it won't be till about 4am - his voice was so out of breath. I liked it. I liked it even more, because I knew it was because of me. I started to unbuckle my belt. I felt panic rising in him again.

- Don't worry, I'm not gonna hit you with it - I said calmly, but then added with a grin - at least not today. Give me your wrists - I asked gently.

He raised them and I tied them firmly, but not too tight. I didn't want to cause him pain. Then I moved his arms above his head and used my belt to immobilize them, somehow tying it to the bed frame.

- Try it - I motioned at his bonds and thankfully, he understood what I meant. When he stopped and realized there is no way he can get away from me, I felt a peak of excitement in him. I smiled at that - Good.

I started to pull up his t-shirt, which was already quite high, like Stiles was playing with his nipples. The thought made me shiver. The tee had to be taken off, but I didn't want to rip it. I put it off by Stiles' head and left it tangled with his wrists. Then I peeled off his boxers.

I took a step back and admired the view. Stiles was slender. Tall and lean, but he had muscles. It was a pity he hid them under those plaid shirts. His shoulders started to get broad, which meant he might become a man soon, but with his adorable face it might take him some more years to get there. His skin was pale, dotted with moles. Oh, this moles were, like trademark for Stiles. His body hair was fine as for boy his age. His happy trail was gorgeous and his pubic hair curled sweetly.

He was still breathing heavy, though his heart wasn't rabbit's. And he stayed silent. He obeyed. I was going to reward him for that. Maybe I watched too much porn (yes, I watch porn, sue me), but having this naked boy stretched before me was incredible. I felt so powerful. I had all the power in the world and the boy was going to soon know exactly what it meant. Or maybe it was because my Feline looked at him like he was my prey. My sweet little prey, that I captured and could do anything I wanted.

I ran my fingers along his body. His calf, tight, hip, ribs, chest and arm. His eyes observing me all the time. The moment I touched him, he sucked a breath. I felt his muscles tensed under my touch.

- My sweet boy - I couldn't stop myself, I had to say it. In response he whined. It brought another shiver in me.

Still fully clothed, I climbed his bed and straddled his belly. His muscles contracted and I could see almost every rib. The friction of my trousers must gave him a nice feeling. He was biting his lower lip, like he was restraining himself from making a noise. I moved like I was riding him, to check if I would break him. He just bit harder and shut his eyes tightly.

- Stiles - I said, gently cupping his face in my palm. His eyes were immediately open - I don't want you to talk, but you are free to make those sweet noises of yours - there was surprise in him.

- Can… can I ask something? - he pleaded and I couldn't say no.

- Mmm… - was all I said as I started to take off my cardigan.

- What are you doing? - I laughed at that. But then I felt his embarrassment. He's got me wrong, so I decided to fix it. I started with kissing the tip of his nose, his cheek, first left, then right. His pink lips were slightly parted and I licked his bottom lip. He moaned lightly.

- Stick out your tongue Stiles.

- But… - he started protesting.

- Do it - I said threateningly and he obeyed in an instant.

I licked it carefully and showed him that I wasn't going to kiss him. At least not yet. I put my palms on his arms and sucked his tongue. Oh, it was so slick and nice. I swirled my tongue around the tip of his. He definitely liked it. When I pulled back, I saw how red his face was. I smiled at that. The color was spreading to his neck and chest. Then I licked his earlobe and bit it lightly.

- Isn't it obvious what I am going to do with you Stiles? - my breath was ghosting his skin.

- I… - he started talking, but remembered I forbade him to. But it was too late, he disobeyed me.

- I told you not to talk Stiles - I said in an irritated voice and would tug at his hair, if they were any longer - You need to grow your hair, so I could tug at them - I verbalized my thoughts - But that is not the matter now - I put my palm on his throat and squeezed it a bit - Now I have to punish you, because you disobeyed me - I said in a steady voice, looking in his startled eyes. His heartbeat speeding - How should I punish you… - my face was millimeters from his.

I could see droplets of sweat on his forehead. Stiles was biting his lower lip, preventing himself from talking. He finally understood, that I wasn't expecting his answer. I turned my eyes turquoise and felt his arousal peaked. I grinned. I knew the answer. I squeezed his throat again, this time harder, but only for couple of seconds, then let go. I moved my palms on his pecs and without warning, I dragged my human nails top to bottom of his chest. His scream was music to my ears. It was rather from surprise than pain. The view of his upper body was breathtaking. He was sweating, panting and red. His eyes big, mouth open. His chest with ten, bright red lines.

- This will do for the first time - I smiled and moved to get off of him. I felt his disappointment - Oh, no. I'm not done with you Stiles - I grinned and glanced at his penis. He was still hard. Good. I plan to make it rock hard.

I took off my boots, then trousers. When Stiles saw my black cotton panties his heart skipped. I smiled at that. Then I found one of his shoes and took the lace. He looked at me puzzled.

- Well, I want to have fun too. And since you started earlier than me, we have to do something about that… - I looked at him closely. He was nervous, but not scared - Be a good boy Stiles and open your legs for me - I said nicely but firmly. He gulped, but slowly opened them. I sat between his legs - Good boy - I praised him - You see what comes from listening to me? - I ran my hands up and down his tights and smiled at him.

I petted him some more and then moved to his penis. He whined when I wrapped my hand around him. The second was firmly placed on his hip, keeping him from moving. It took only couple strokes to make him as hard as I wanted. Then, I took the shoelace and tied it at the base of his shaft and testicles. When I did the final knot, he whimpered.

- Shh… - I petted his abdomen - This will prevent you from coming too soon.

I knew he was in pain (of course bearable amount of it), so I needed to distract him. I took off my panties and crawled to meet his lips. This time I intended to kiss him. I licked his lower lip and tugged at it. It earned me a moan from Stiles. I hate those chastity kisses, so I went straight to business. I slipped my tongue into his mouth and met his. It took him some time to properly kiss, but when he finally got it, he became very greedy. I broke the kiss and heard him whine. But he was happy. I smiled at that.

- Do you feel any pain down there? - I meant his penis - Answer me Stiles.

- No… - he seemed surprised by that.

- Good. I'm going to ride you now - he was shocked, like he wouldn't believe this was actually happening - But you are not allowed to come, not until I say so. Do you understand? - I said in a very strong voice. He nodded.

I went south, grabbed his penis in my hand and slid him into me. Stiles made a sound. Mix of a moan and whimper. A loud one. I smiled at that, though he couldn't see, because his eyes were closed. I started to move, slowly. At first Stiles panted, but then his moans made me more aroused and wet. My hands roamed all over his body, touching, scratching, admiring him in my own way.

I started touching myself then. I fondled my breasts and touched my clit. While I was playing with myself, I quickened the pace. My orgasm was starting to build. I pinched Stiles' nipples and his eyes flew open. When he noticed I was smiling, he shyly returned it. I leaned and kissed him deeply and very greedily. The change of angle made me moan into his mouth. When we finally broke the kiss, I leaned more and panting, said to him.

- Move your hips.

Stiles obeyed instantly and brought me more pleasure. I bit into the flesh of his neck and arm to muffle my moans. He understood I was having a very good time and it pleased him. He moved his hips more eagerly to please me better, but I knew I had to slow him down, so he wouldn't come too soon.

I changed the position. Straightening myself up, I threw my hair in the air in a rapid movement, which got me a gasp from Stiles beneath me. I was in full control again.

I placed my palms on his pecs, moved faster and clenched my inner muscles (I heard Stiles mumble Oh my God!). I grinned. I was close. My moves became erratic and all of my muscles tensed. When my orgasm hit, I exploded clenching my fingers and digging them in Stiles' flesh. I exploded with pure pleasure and bliss. And a moan that was more animal than human. I rode Stiles some more, still trembling, still clenching my inner muscles and still orgasming.

It took some time for me to calm down. I let Stiles' shaft slip out and then teased him a little with my vagina. He hasn't come yet. I haven't allowed him that yet.

I sat beside him on the bed and took him in my left hand, stroking slowly. My right hand was petting his still reddened chest. I hoped my marks will fade quickly from his skin. Stiles was moaning sweetly, his eyes closed and mouth open. He was so slippery from my juices, my hand was sliding up and down with ease. His orgasm was building, but I wanted to tease him more.

- Do you want to come Stiles? - my voice was low - You can tell me how much you want it - his eyes opened. He licked his lower lip and felt unsure. I raised my brow in anticipation.

- Yes… I want to come… badly - he said out of breath. I smirked at that. Well, he was quite obedient, so I can finally give him what he wants… or not.

- Beg for it - I said as I loosened my grip on his penis.

- No, no, no. C'mon Agnes, please let me come… PLEASE - if I said he was out of breath before, now he was… He was more than out of breath.

My eyes turned turquoise again and I became wet. His pleadings fueled my lust. I tightened my grip on him and added a twist of my wrist.

- Oh God, yes, yes… - I slapped his inner thigh and his hips jerked up. I immediately stopped everything.

- Who told you, you can move your hips? - I asked angered. His eyes were horrified.

- I'm sorry! I'm so sorry Agnes. I… It won't happen again, I swear! - Stiles started to fight against his restraints, like he wanted to flail his hands. I smacked his penis. Hard. It got me his attention.

- Stop. I am going to stroke you until you come and you won't move a muscle. Because if not, I am going to leave you exactly as you are now. You understand? - just a nod - Good.

I gripped him and started again. I moved my thumb over the tip of his penis couple of times, which earned me loud moans. Very slutty ones.

- That's it Stiles. Show me how much you want this. Show me how much you need this - as I was talking to him, I undid the knots of his shoelace.

I could feel his orgasm near the corner. I let him have it. He moaned very unmanly and his whole body shuddered. His come flew in the air, which made me chuckle, but fortunately Stiles was too busy reliving his orgasm to notice that. I stroked him through, while he made those sweet little noises of him.

When he was recovering, I wiped my hand on his thigh and abs and started putting my clothes on. Stiles was quiet. He was breathing steadily, his eyes closed. He was happy and content. I smiled at that and approached him.

- Stiles - I whispered to not to startle him. He opened his eyes and looked at me - still smiling. They were so warm, so trusting… I leaned and kissed him long, sweetly… and so lovingly.

I broke the kiss, retrieved my belt and after making sure his wrists were ok, I turned to get a grip on myself. I just used an underage to have sex with. And his father is a sheriff. Am I retarded or something?! Or something…

- You need to take a shower. A long one. And change your bedding and air the room. And it would be good if you haven't meet with anyone like Scott or Isaac… - I finally turned to him - Are you even listening to me?

- Dude! We just had… - I looked at him like he just lost his mind - Sorry for the 'dude', but seriously, we just had…

- Sex! - I shouted - Yes, I know, can we please move on? - now, he looked at me like it was me, who lost mind. I moved closer to him and took one of his hands in mine - Stiles, we know people who have exceptional sense of smell. For how long do you think Scott will keep his mouth shut, if he finds out about this? - I could almost hear the gears in Stiles' brain as he started thinking. The answer to my question and repercussions of our action finally came to him and caused sour expression on his face.

- Shower, bedding and avoiding… Yeah, I understand… - he said with resignation. All happiness flying away.

- Hey - I squeezed his hand - Be careful around your dad too.

- Oh, c'mon! Give me a break - I cupped his cheek.

- Stiles… - I looked him hard in the eyes - be careful. You're underage and I am definitely not. It speaks for itself - I raised my brows.

- Yeah, but… - I put my thumb on his lips.

- Stiles… - this time I groaned in a warning. He zipped. I pulled him for a kiss. The most chaste. And then left.

* * *

It's my Feline. This constant feeling of dissatisfaction... They are causing it. This constant buzzing, jingling, itching - call it whatever you want - under my skin... I feel like I'm locked in a cage... Definitely too small for me. There is no room for me, no air... I'm rounding inside this cage restlessly... And I understand now, that I need more than I have... My Feline is demanding more... She... They need more room, more air, more control... They need to control, to dominate...

And the only way to let go of this jingling is to fight viciously... to strike the final blow... to feel hot blood dripping down my mouth... or... to have sex... Hot and intense... Demanding, commanding, dominating... With claws and teeth... To scratch, to bite, to mark...


End file.
